Desidaria & Trevor

Chapter One

“Come on Desidaria, it’ll be good for your career and besides if you do this I’ll give you your own column in the paper.” Desidaria glared at him. It wasn’t fair that her boss was using her dream against her.

“Didn’t you see who is hosting the benefit? It’s Trevor. Mr hot shot werewolf the pack comes first.” She said angrily.

“You don’t have to talk to him, just interview the Ross’s. Fatima Ross is four months pregnant, ask her about that and how her zombie hunting work is going. That couple from France is going to be there too, Vivian and Noe. She’s pregnant too. Come on, please?”

“Damn it, fine. You better not be bullshitting me about that column or I’ll rip your ear off.”

“Thank you so much Desi, you are an angel.”

“Not for long. When is it?”

“Tomorrow night. Remember it’s a benefit for orphans. Your ex put it together because he was one. Of course you know that part. Dress nice.” She narrowed her eyes at him and he held his hands up.

“Sorry, sorry. You always look nice, but where something really, really nice.”

“Whatever, I’m going back to my office.” She left his office, slamming the door. Some of the other people working there raised their heads see what was going on. When they saw the angry look on her face, they went back to work. She headed to her office, slamming that door too and flopping down in her chair. She took a deep breath, trying not to be overwhelmed by her emotions. It wasn’t going to be fun seeing someone who had thrown her away after his pack had complained about her being human. She would give anything to be a werewolf, but it wasn’t like in the movies. You couldn’t just get bit by one and suddenly you were howling at the moon. She had even asked him to talk to his elders about it, but he had refused. His pack wanted someone wolf born. As far as she knew he had never taken another mate, which made it sting even more. She took another deep breath, telling herself she could get through this. She would do her best to avoid him and of she couldn’t then she would interview him like she would anybody else. She could act cold and uncaring, she could give hm a taste of his own medicine.

At the end of the day she went home still in a foul mood. She was getting her poker face ready to deal with Trevor. It wasn’t the most mature approach but she didn’t care after he said he loved her then cast her away like she never really meant a thing. Part of her felt he couldn’t have loved her and made the choice he didn’t. He barely even seemed to try to persuade his pack. She was just fun sex until the pack said enough. She was determined not to show him atall how she missed him. She doubted her stoney demeanour would affect him atall but part of her more childish side hoped he would be hurt by her seeming to appear not to care he threw her away. Desi turned on the shower and stepped in so she coudl feel the magical soothing powers of the hot water.

She didn’t understand how showers were so relaxing but they made her feel better no matter how mad or upset she was. Desi was excited to talk to Fatima and Lombard. They were very interesting people to her. She concentrated on what she would talk to them about  as she made herself dinner so she wouldn’t stay grumpy all evening. As she ate she entertained maybe finding a cute guy at the party to help her move on. At an event like that there were bound to be some attractive men. It would also help to show Trevor she dind’t care that he didn’t love her.

After dinner she went to her bedroom and lit some candles she bought at Bath and Bodyworks last week. They made her room smell amazing as she relaxed to then think about questions she could ask Vivian and Noe. She wanted to learn about their son too so she would have plenty to talk to them about. Desi was glad she knew so much about Trevor, she really wouldn’t be forced to speak with him that long since their wasn’t much she didn’t know already.

The next morning she woke feeling irritated. She had dreamed about him, his face, his voice and even his stupid smile. She felt like screaming and strangling Emmit. She found her cell and dialed his number. “I’m not coming into work today.” She said when he answered.

“Okay, I understand.” He replied.

“Good.” She hung up and tossed her phone on the bed. She headed into the kitchen and poured herself a bowl of cereal. She didn’t feel like cooking. She switched on the TV and changed it to cartoons. She remembered watching them with Trevor all the time. He would chuckle at her child like love for old cartoons like Tom and Jerry or Johnny Quest. She sighed, hating her mind for drifting to him once again. She quickly finished her cereal and switched off the TV. Everything she did reminded her of him. It had been over a year, she had finally stopped crying and now Emmit had shoved him back in her life. She washed her bowl and decided she was going for a walk. She needed some fresh air. She pulled on some clothes and made sure she had her apartment key before heading out.

Trevor stood still as the tailor made sure his suit fit the way it was supposed to. He had bought it especially for this occasion. He thought it looked fine, but then again he wasn’t a professional tailor. He was excited because his old friend Noe was coming with his wife Vivian and their son Benjy who had brought his girlfriend. Lombard and Fatima Ross were also going to be there. He did business with their friend Donnie. He was humbled that they would come and donate to his cause. His parents had died when he was eight, leaving a large void in his heart. He had grown up bitter and frustrated. He had been on more fights than he could count, received just as many injuries as he gave and had even been arrested a couple of times. Then he had met her, his understanding angel. They had met when he went to the hospital for stitches. She had had a broken arm and was having it taken out of its cast.

She had captivated him with her smile and had insisted on getting to know him even though he had a reputation as a playboy and an asshole. She had forced him onto the right path, making him understand that fighting was never okay unless you were defending yourself. Then he had done the most despicable thing he had ever done. He had thrown her away, had out his pack before his heart and told her to leave. The look on her face had nearly killed him, but he had always been told the pack came first. He had been wrong.

Desi enjoyed the fresh air and chatter of happy people. It helped get her in a good mood so she could be friendly with everybody who wasn’t Trevor. The only thing that drug her back home was that she needed to get ready for her evening. She would end up in countless pictures and wanted to look her best. If her friends found a single ugly one they would taunt her with it. Desi skimmed through her most elegant dresses until one caught her attention that used to make her fall down in tears every time she glanced at it. It was the one Trevor favored most on her. Somthing about it drove him wild so she wore it every time the opportunity arose just to tease him until they coudl be alone. She grabbed it, determined not to let cloth and memories of a playboy hurt her any longer.

Desi laid it on the bed and stripped to her underwear. She tugged the dress on then styled her hair before doing her makeup. When Desi felt ready she walked over to her full length mirror to study herself. She really was gorgeous in this thing. She had to wear very little make up in it to be stunning. One tear fell from her eye and she reprimanded herself. She got a napkin and dabbed the wetness away then made sure to put some in her bag incase Trevor made her weak and she had to go hide to cry. She wished she hadn’t been so stupid back then. She really thought he had fallen in love with her, that their relationship was more than his past ones. “I was such afool…..a gullible fool” She took a few deep breaths and concentrated at all the good this event woudl do.

She calle dher boss to confirm she was about to leave then made sure all she needed for the evening was in her purse. As Desi walked to her car a man howled at her a few times “shut up!” she yelled and he laughed saying sorry. She got in and set her purse ont he seat beside her. After Trevor, men howling repulsed her completely. It only made her angry as she thought of him. Desi went through question yet again so she woudln’t forget any at the event as she drove.

She pulled into the parking lot across from the banquet hall and made sure she had her press pass in hand before she exited her car. The man at the front door looked her up and down and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She tapped her foot impatiently and he handed her press pass back before waving her in. She just wanted to do the interviews and leave. She scanned the room, looking for the couples she had come to interview. She spotted Lombard and Fatima first. They looked so amazing and she found herself growing nervous as she crossed the room. They both smiled at her and she swallowed.

“Sorry to disturb you, but I’m Desidaria Quinn.” She held out her hand and they both shook it.

“I know you, well I know your articles. I enjoy reading them.” Fatima said and she blushed.

“Thank you very much.”

“Are you looking for an interview?” Lombard asked and she nodded. “Why don’t we go somewhere quiet then. It might be hard to talk over all this chatter.”

She followed them happily into an adjoin groom where the bar was. There was hardly anyone there so they found a nice place to set where Fatima would not be immediately seen. “Ask away.” Fatima said and Desidaria pulled out her recorder. She switched it on and asked about their lives. They talked about Fatima’s pregnancy and the zombie hunting business. It was very interesting an exciting to hear about. She then asked about their reason for donating a very large sum of money to Trevor. They told her that they believed every child should have a chance at a normal life and they wanted to make sure the children received a good education and were able to do the things they dreamed of doing.

“Thank you for talking to me.” She said and switched of the recorder. “Is it okay of I touch your belly? I like babies.”

“Sure.” Fatima grabbed Desidaria’s hand and pressed it against her stomach. She wasn’t very big, but it was still amazing to think she was growing a baby. “Sometimes I think I feel the baby kick, but I’m not sure. Lombard says he can hear it when he puts his head on my stomach.”

“That’s amazing, thank you. I’ll let you two get back to the party. I have another couple to interview.”

Trevor talked to the mayor and his wife who had been delighted to be invited to his fundraiser. They had given quite a sum of money and he was planning on outting it to good use. He had found a very large building that had been long abandoned. It looked like it had been an old school or hospital. He wasn’t sure, but he planned on fixing it up and making it into an orphanage. He would hire the best staff to take care of it and would visit it every day to make sure the children were being treated right. A familiar smell suddenly wafted up his nose and he froze. He felt goosebumps crawl up his arms and his heart seemed to stop for a moment before quickly starting again. He looked around, searched for her face. “Desidaria.” He said under his breath. She was somewhere close.

He almost franticly searched the room, longing to see her beautiful face again. He finally saw her and noticed she was searching too. He hoped she was searching for him, that maybe she came to see him even though he didn’t deserve it. A couple tried to stop Trevor to talk to him but he barely noticed as he hurried to get to Desi. He finally laid a hand on her shoulder and she quickly turned “Hey” he said breathless as though he were running. “Hey” Desi said flatly.

“Who are you looking for?”

“Noe and Vivian, I have to interview them. While you are here we can get your interview over with if you have a moment.” Her words were compleatly void of emotion. A frown tried to form on his face but he forced the smile to stay. It hurt how she spoke and the fact she said “get your interview over with” like it was a chore to speak with him. It’s what he deserved after casting her off like he did so he just responded “Yes, follow me please and I’ll answer anything” Trevor was elated to have a reason to speak with her even if she seemed to not feel a thing around him.

It was even more tourturous she was wearing his favorite dress on her. He wondered if she remembered it was his favorite. He lead her to a room and they sat down. Her voice stayed void of emotion as she asked the few questions she had for him. She never once made eye contact even though he tried multiple times to get her to look him in the eyes. His heart could barely beat and tears were trying to make their way out. It was taking all he had not to shed tears.

“How does it feel to finally realize your dream, to provide a safe haven for many children lost on the streets?”it was her last question and then she had to go find Noe and Vivian.

“Desi, you look beautiful.” He replied and she bunched her dress in her fingers.

“Don’t Trevor.”

“I’ve missed you.”

“I said don’t.” She yelled and got to her feet. She went to walk away and he reflexively grabbed her wrist. She turned and slapped him, making him release her. “Just leave me alone.”

She ran from him, her heart beating a million miles an hour. She forced back her tears and quickly moved through the crowd to find Vivian and Noe. She just wanted to speak to them and go home. She found them talking to Lombard and Fatima and asked if it would be okay of she interviewed them. They smiled, shrugged and followed her to the bar. Trevor was gone and she hoped he stayed that way until she left. Their son was mingling with the crowd, his very beautiful girlfriend on his arm. She didn’t want to spoil their evening so she just left them alone. She really enjoyed speaking to Vivian and Noe and learned that Noe was one of Trevor’s oldest friends. She was surprised a Trevor had friends, especially another alpha. She finished her interview, thanked them and hurried for the front door. Just as freedom was in her sight, Trevor headed her off.

“We need to talk.” He said, arms crossed.

“No we don’t, now get out of my way.” She pushed past him and he grabbed her arm. She went to hit him again and he stopped her. His lips met hers and she felt her heart skip a beat. He pulled back and searched her eyes.

“You still love me don’t you?”

“No, I don’t” She snapped and jerked free then ran out the door.

Trevor had never seen her so angry. He couldn’t believe she had slapped him. His cheek still stung. She had not even given him a real chance to speak. He wanted to go after her, to pull her into his arms and let her wear herself out hitting him so he could tell her how much she meant to him and how sorry he was. He stayed, forced himself to walk over and talk to Vivian and Noe. He had not been able to answer her last question and would use it as an excuse to see her tomorrow. He was sure she still worked for Emmit. Only he could get her to come to his benefit.

Desi managed to hold in her tears until she shut her front door. She slid down it crying hard into her knees.She didn’t know that he was that much of an asshole. He threw her away then he says she’s beautiful and kisses her. She didn’t know what sort of demented man would play with someones heart like that. All he was, was a cruel selfish prick. She almost tore her dress getting it off. She violently scrubbed her face to remove her makeup then crawled into bed without eating. She pressed her blanket into her face as she cried. The tears didn’t stop until she was sound asleep. She dreamnt of him again, dreamnt of the things they used to do together. She jerked out of a dream around two am then sighed sadly.

Getting her own colum hadn’t really been worth that but how was she to know he was selfish enough to kiss her. Her feelings obviously meant nothing to him. It truly impacted into her now that she was never anything more than a toy. He just wanted to use her again. He was going to try and get some more sex out of her then laugh when she fell deeply in love all over again. She then thought “who are you fooling? You still love him madly and he knows it. That’s why he’s messing with you, you can’t fool a soul..” 

Desi went into the kitchen and made some icecream then settled on the couch. She felt cold so went and tugged on some pajamas then a loose fitting top. She ate while she watched Comedy Central until her eyes were heavy once again. She didn’t feel like returning to bed so she set her bowl on the floor and just settled herself in the couch. “I hate myself for loving you Trevor…I truly do”

When the sun finally rose above the horizon she was dead tired. She got up and jumped in the shower, turning the water to cold and allowing it to shock her into wakefulness. She dried, dressed and did her hair and makeup then headed out. Her heart was still hurting when she made it to work, but she managed a smile for everyone she passed. She went to her office and booted up her computer, wanting to get the article written so she could focus on ideas for her column. There was a knock on her door and she looked up to see Emmit. She motioned for him to come in and he opened the door.

“How did it go last night?” He asked.

“Not good, terrible actually. I never want to see him again.” She answered.

“Oh…um…well he kind of was here when I showed up this morning.”

“What?” She jumped up so fast she nearly knocked her chair over.

“Yeah he was waiting on the front steps and now he’s kind of in my office.”

“Oh shit, I have to get out of here. Stall him.”

“He’s a werewolf.” She glared at him and he backed out of her office. She grabbed her purse and took off out of her office. Her work, he had followed her to work. She bumped into someone in her haste and was knocked to the ground, her purse spilling everywhere.

“Damn it.” She hastily started stuffing things back in her purse.

“Let me help.” Her head snapped up and she almost left her things. Trevor was looking down at her, hazel eyes alight with amusement.

“What do you want from me?” She asked, averting her gaze as the tears started to well up. “Have you come to torment me some more?”

“I came to answer your question.”

“What?”

“You wanted to know how it felt to finally realize my dream. I came here to answer you so you have everything you need to finish your article.”

“fine, but I dont want your help. Go wait in my office.”

“I don’t mind”

“shut up and wait in my office.” Desi said firmly making Trevor frown. He walked into her office and sat down as Desi gathered her things then sat in her chair. “answer then” She still looked so angry “we really need to talk Desi..please.”

“liar, you said you were here to answer my question but you’re really good at lieing, you must love it so I dont know why I’m shocked. I only want to hear you speak if it’s to answer my question from last night”

“I don’t love lieing Desi, what on earth would make you say that?”

“You said you loved me countless times when we were together but that was a blatant lie. I was a oty like all the others. The lengendary playboy struck again. You played with me to your hearts content then threw me away. Now you’re back to play your sick game, kissin gme last night” she scoffed sounding absolutely disgusted “your selfishness has no fucking end. I was stupid for ever allowing myself to think you loved me. I wont be that naive again so go use some other girl as your play thing. My herat isn’t yours to play games with you monster”

Chapter Two

Desi was crying again and hated herself even more for it. Trevor sat there, mouth gaping. He got up to hold her but she jumped out of her chair and backed away “please don’t touch me, please…please just stop…have a heart atall and stop using me….”

“I was nevber using you Desi..I”

“shut up”

“Desi please, can’t I speak?”

“Do whatever you want, you do that anyway. I’m sure you’ll just stalk me until you get your own way so speak” The knife in his heart plunged deeper at her words and how truly upset Desi seemed. He took a step forward and she said nothing, knowing there wasn’t any point in fighting him. He would just keep coming back. “Desi…I understand why you feel this way but I love you, I always did but I was alays told the pack comes first. It tore me apart to send you away” Desi scoffed then cried again “Desi” He said unable to force back his own tears any longer. He almost couldn’t stand he was crying so hard. Now it was Desis turn to be shocked. Alpha males didn’t cry, especially not Trevor.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “What I did was messed up. I wanted you to stay, I wanted you to be mine.”

“How do I know this isn’t just some act? Do you have any idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep over you? Do you know how many times I prayed that I could be cold an uncaring and hate you? It took me so long to find some semblance of normalcy, to be able to come to work without breaking down. Even now, I wish I could hate you. You could have stepped down and appointed one of the other males as alpha, but no you tossed me to the side.”

“I wanted to protect the pack. I thought I was doing what was best, but since you have been gone things have gone down hill. Some of the males have challenged me, many of the females have tried sleeping with me. I am weak without you, I am only half the alpha I should be.” He sat down in her chair and buried his face in his hands.

“You could have fought for me instead of making me think I was nothing to you.”

“I tried calling, but you wouldn’t answer. I almost came to you many times, but I figured the damage was done and it was to late.” He looked up at her, his eyes full of sorrow. In that moment he looked lost and lonely, his heart just as broken as hers.

“I still love you Trevor, very much and I have missed you. I wanted to punish you last night, I wanted you to feel how hurt I was. I’m sorry that I slapped you.”

“Don’t be, I deserved it and more. I shouldn’t have kissed you, I should have thought of your feelings. Please come back to me and I promise I will do whatever it takes to keep you. I’ll talk to the elders, I’ll do whatever it takes to make you see I need you and will not throw you away again. I love you so much.” More tears slid down his face and she had to hug him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his face into her shirt. She ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him as best as she could. “Please forgive me Desi, please give me one more chance.”

Desi was afraid of having her heart crushed all over again but she couldn’t deny she still loved him. Her wound was already ripped open again so she decided she may as well give him another chance.  “alright Trevor, I guess I can give us another shot. I can’t deny I love you no matter how much I don’t trust you not to rip me apart again.” He cried a little harder as he held Desi close. “Thank you” He managed to say. When he stopped crying she said “Now can you answer my question from last night? I’ll finish up this article then request a day or two off, whatever he will give me but I need to finish this first.”

“Can I stay in your office and watch you?”

“I guess” he half smiled then sat down. Trevor looked absolutely pitiful as she typed. It was hard to work but she didn’t have the heart to ask him to go wait in her apartment. He looked as though he would crumble if he left her office without her. She was happy to see that need in his eyes that she saw when they were together before but it was mized with so much sadness. It was still going to be hard for her aswell to be in this relationship. It was going to be hard for her to trust he was really around to stay and that the whims of his pack wouldn’t mean more than she did. Desi just wasn’t sure how things were supposed to be the same.

She was almost done when lunch rolled around “Do you care if I finish this before we go eat so I don’t have to return?”

“I didn’t even notice it was lunch, finish” She gave him a nod and turned her attention back to her computer monitor. Once she was done she stood, Trevor standing the very same moment. “I’ll go talk to my boss now.” It surprised Desi when he took her hand. She looked at his face and about cried at his expression. This really did seem absolutely genuine. “You can kiss me if you want. I did just agree to be your girlfriend again.” Not a second later his lips met hers.He tried to make her feel how much he loved her as his lips moved.

She gripped his shirt and he tightened his arms around her. She could feel eyes on them and broke the kiss. She cleared her throat and he grinned. She glared up at him then turned her eyes on everyone else. “What, never seen a couple kiss before?” They all went back to work and she pushed out of his arms to go talk to Emmit. She pushed his office door open and said, “I’m taking a couple of days off. I sent the article to you for review.”

“I don’t know why you even tell me, just don’t show up.” He replied.

“Wouldn’t want you to worry.”

“I’ll worry when you’re gone for a week without saying anything. Make sure you actually relax this time.”

“Will do.” Trevor laced his fingers through hers as they made their way out of the building. She glanced up at his face, he still looked very sad. “Did you bring your car?” She asked.

“Motorcycle, would you like to ride with me?”

“Are you going to bring me back to get my car in the morning?”

“Of course.” She gave in and he pulled her to his motorcycle. He handed her her helmet. He had bought it just for her. It was a bright neon green with a panda painted on each side. He had laughed when he saw it, but still bought it anyway. He sat down then patted the seat behind him. She tugged her helmet on and got on behind him. She put her purse between them then wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. She had always loved riding with him.

Trevor took them to her favorite bistro where they ordered sandwiches. He stared at her and she blushed. She looked away from him and he reached across the table to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. She choked on her sand which and started coughing. He stood and patted her back then handed her his glass of water. “I’m sorry Desi.” She waved him off and took a drink of water.

“I’m fine, you just startled me is all.”

“I couldn’t help myself. I’ve missed you so deeply. My heat leapt for joy when I smelled you at my benefit and is very grateful you are giving me another chance. I’ve missed how beautiful you are, how sweet and adorable, I’ve missed the way you smell and your eyes. I’ve missed absolutely every detail about you Desi. I was such a fool to choose my pack over my heart. You were never a toy and it causes me such pain that you thought for a second you were anything less than the love of my life. I understand how you came to that conclusion but…” He looked as though he might cry again and she kissed his cheek making a smile appear even though he was sad. “You are much more than I deserve Desi. I’m going to spend the rest of our lives making up for what I did.”

“For starters we can cuddle when we get home. I’ve missed how you used to hold me. I want to watch cartoons and be wrapped in your arms.” His lip quivered as his eyes started to look wet. Desi touched his face making a few silent tears fall. They finished their food then she asked “so you want to hold me right?” He nodded “more than anything. I’ve been longing to hold you since the first night you were gone.”Trevor was tempted to lift Desi into his arms and run to her apartment but thought that would be a bit much since she only a few hours ago agreed to be with him again.

Desi smiled, still being able to read him like a book. “you can carry me and run if you want. Just be careful not to knock over anybody” He smiled happily and lifted her. He pressed her body into his and kissed her head. “Thank you” Trevor said softly before running to her room. She dug in her pocket and unlocked the door. He hurried inside, barely giving her a second to lock the door again. He sat on her couch “want to change first or are you happy in what you’re in?”

“I’m happy with what I’m wearing, I’ll be comfortable”

She switched on the TV, finding the cartoons and he shifted so he was leaning against the arm of the couch and she was between his legs. He rested his chin on top of her head and held her tightly to him as they watched TV. He allowed her heat and scent to wash over him, becoming less and less aware of the show and more and more aware of Desidaria. He buried his nose in her hair, inhaling deeply. He kissed her neck, licked then gently bit her. She jumped and he nibbled at her ear.

“Trevor, please not now.” She whispered.

“Why? I need you very badly.” He whispered back, his warm breath on her skin giving her goosebumps.

“We just got back together.”

“We were lovers for a long time Desi, I’ve seen all of you before, I’ve touched all of you before. I just want to rediscover you, to remind myself of how warm and soft you are. Please let me make love to you, let me show you how much I have missed you.”

She knew resisting him was nearly impossible. He never played fair when it came to what he wanted. He could seduce better than any man she had ever known and worse he knew all of her most sensitive spots. “Trevor I…”

“We don’t have to if you really don’t want to. I’ve just missed you so much. I’ll do anything to make you happy. If you say no sex, then we won’t have sex.”

She felt tears in her eyes and turned around to kiss him. Her arms went around his neck and she held herself close to him. She pulled back to look into his eyes, her cheeks flushing at the desire burning in his eyes. “You can say the most amazing things sometimes. I still feel so unsure, so confused.”

“Tell me what I have to do to make you trust me. I will give you anything, just say the word.” He meant it. He had gained enough power and influence that he could get her anything.

“Declare in front of your pack that I am your mate, that you love me and me alone and that you will take no other woman for an alpha. The pack was out biggest issue and I want to be able to stand before them as your mate.”

“Tomorrow, we’ll go tomorrow. If they should leave afterwards then so be it. If any male challenges me, I will defeat him. Nothing will take you from me a second time. I would rather die than be without the love of my heart, the other half of my soul.”

Desi was still unsure about making love to Trevor even though she felt his words were true. He had wounded her so deeply it was hard to believe he was really going to do this. Trevor could see the war inside of her all over her face. Trevor kissed Desi’s head “I love you”

“I love you too Trevor but it’s easy to say you’re going to do somthing. I want to see you go through with your words before we make love. I can’t let you brake me again. I need to be sure I’m not simply a sex toy or that you wont become a coward and take the easy way out by dumping me on the corner somwhere” Trevor frowned then gently kissed her lips “Ok, I understand. I will control myself but I want you to understand what I did was not the easy way atall Desi. It was ingrained into my brain that the pack comes first so I thought I had to choose my pack over what my heart wanted. Without fail I’ve cried every night since you’ve been gone. I missed you so badly Desi. I have been absolutely miserable. I doubt there is any greater pain in the world than meeting your soul mate and loseing them. I don’t care what happens tomorrow as long as that at the end of the day you are my mate.”

Desi hugged Trevor tightly and cired. He gently ran his hand down her hair and back repeatedly as she sobbed herself into exhaustion and fell asleep on him. Trevor shifted slightly to get comfortable then wrapped his arms around Desi “I’m so sorry for being a fool Desi. You will see tomorrow that you are what comes first in my life. You will see how deeply I love you Desi. I want you and only you forever and always.” Trevor wanted to sleep too but his heart was too heavy. He didn’t know how severely he hurt her when he cast her away. It would have destroyed him during this past year if he knew so he was glad he didn’t until now.

A few hours passed and Trevor got up. He carried Desi to her bedroom and laid her down so he could make dinner. Trevor scanned her fridge and pantry then decided Shrimp Scampi would be perfect. He was really good at making it and it was one of Desis favorites. He was nearly done when the smell roused Desi from slumber. She smiled, knowing it was Trevor cooking. She walked quietly into the kitchen but entertained no thoughts of surprising him. His ears were too sensitive for her to.

“What happened to the woman who would sneak up on me and cover my eyes?” He asked as she hopped up on the counter.

“You can hear me no matter how quiet I am, so there’s no point.” She answered.

“True, but I enjoyed it. You would say ‘guess who?’ and I would pretend I didn’t know. It always made me smile.”

She frowned since his back was to her. She wanted to be playful with him, but once again she was brought up short by the memories of pain and sorrow. She hopped down off the counter and moved up behind him then covered his eyes with her hands. “Guess who?” He gave a soft laugh and turned to hug her. He lifted her off the ground and kissed her softly.

“I wonder who it could be. It must be my beautiful, intelligent Desidaria because no one else could make my heart beat this fast.” She blushed and he smiled before lowering her and going back to making dinner. She sat down at the kitchen table before her legs gave out. The feel of his lips threatened to destroy her sanity. “Are you okay Desi?”

“Yes, perfectly fine.” She answered.

“You don’t sound fine.” He was suddenly next to her, his fingers rubbing the back of her neck. She moaned and then covered her mouth. “What a wonderful sound.” He said softly before kissing her cheek.

“Get, make me a plate or something before I rip your shirt off.”

“I don’t mind, I have other shirts.” She looked up at him and he laughed.

“I might have to lock you in my closet tonight.”

“I plan on sleeping with you tonight love. I want to cuddle with you like we used to. I’ll be good I promise.” He made them both a plate and sat them on the table then pured them each a glass of milk.

“So, how are you planning on telling your pack about me?” She took a bite of food and almost moaned again. He had always been a good cook.

“I don’t know. They want me to have a wolf born mate so it might be hard to make them understand, but I will or they can leave.”

“Why not use your friend Noe as an example. Vivian is human right?” He shook his head.

“Vivian is a tiger, their son is a half breed who can shift into both a wolf and tiger. It’s a rare trait.”

Desidaria got a sad look making Trevor grab her hand “It doesn’t matter how they react Desidaria. I love you, you’re all I need. I learned that when i sent you away. You are my everything. I’m not worried about tomorrow atall”

“But you love your pack”

“I love you more and can get over them. I cannot on the other hand get over the love of my life. You are my other half, they can accept it or find a new leader.”

“are you really sure?”

“There’s no question in my mind Desidaria. I don’t think I was clear enough on how miserable and tortured I was without you to wake up to every morning. I can’t wait to hold you all night and see that perfect face when I wake.” They looked into eachother eyes for a time then went back to their dinner. Desidarias mouth was near the point of watering as she ate. his food was even more delicious than when he cooked for her before. “Did you take cooking lessons?” Trevor nodded then said “It helped occupy me”

“They were worth every penny. I’m amazed your food was able to get better.”

“I’ll cook for you as often as you want. You never have to cook again while you’re with me which I hope is forever” Desidaria smiled “of course it is” Trevor smiled back at her and sighed. When they were done Desidaria went to clear the table “no, please let me. You go get into pajamas for this evening.” Desi kissed his cheek making Trevors heart thunder then ran off to her room. She changed then walked back out to him rinsing the dishes. “should I go home quickly or may I sleep in my underwear?”

“You can sleep in your underwear”

“Miss looking at me huh?” He said with a wolfish grin making Desidaria playfully roll her eyes. “can we relax in your bed Desi? I really want to hold you. We can watch TV in there, I saw you had one mounted to your wall”

“Yeah, the noise helped me sleep since I got so used to your breathing. Lets watch ID”

“ID?”

“It’s a channel I discovered. I really enjoy it”

“I’ll watch anything that will get you to let me embrace you” Desidaria held out her hand and Trevor took it. They walked to the bedroom and Trevor stripped. Desidaria couldn’t pull her eyes away. They just wandered his body as he stood there with a happy smile. He didn’t say a word, loving how she traveled him. She finally turned away quickly and blushed. He closed the distance between them and pulled her close “don’t be embaressed. I was enjoying it. Lets lay down beautiful” Desidaria grabbed her remote and turned the TV on then followed Trevor into her bed.

“When you said you discovered this show, was it some kind of pun?” He asked.

“No, but it’s funny that you say that now.”

“This is totally some freaky ass murder porn isn’t it?” She laughed and lightly punched his chest.

“No, you perv. It’s not all cheating husbands and mistresses and pissed off wives with axes. This just happens to be one of those episodes.”

“If you say so. I don’t understand how the cops can let a killer get away. I bet I could find her in an instant.”

“Well you have this nose.” She tapped the tip of his nose and he bit onto her finger. “Hey, no biting wolf man.”

“I seem to remember you liking my biting.” She blushed and he rubbed his nose against hers with a happy smile. “I love that we can play around like this. It fills me with joy.” He rained feather light kisses over her face then kissed her gently on the lips before going back to the show. She rubbed her face against his chest, making his heart beat speed up. “Maybe I should sleep on the couch.” He said with a half smile.

“Are you afraid you might lose control?”

“Yes, I’m very afraid. I don’t want to do something that makes you hate me again.”

“I trust you to be good, just stay with me please. Cuddling with my pillow is not nearly as comfortable as cuddling with you or as warm.”

He could deny her nothing. He kissed the top of her head and did his best to focus on the TV. Every few minutes he would glance at her face, admiring her beauty and wanting to run his fingers through her soft hair. Her eyelids started to fall and every once in awhile she would blink rapidly to help her stay awake. “Go to sleep Desi, it’s been a long day.”

“It’s your fault I’m so exhausted.”

“As usual.”

“Silly perverted wolf.” She whispered. “Oh well, I still love you pervert or not.” She drifted off into sleep and he kissed her forehead. Her warm breath tickled his chest and he told himself over and over again that he had to be good for her. He almost laughed when he realized he was commanding himself like a dog.

Trevor grabbed the remote and turned off her TV so the only sound would be the soft ones Desidaria made in her sleep. He shut his eyes and let her warm breaths relax him. He had missed this so much and was elated to have it again. He just prayed tomorrow that none of the other wolves tried to hurt Desidaria. He didn’t mind if they did anything to him but he couldn’t let anything happen to her if they became enraged at the idea of having a female alpha that wasn’t wolf born. He was going to make her a werewolf but it would mean nothing to them. Trevor sighed, deciding he wouldnt let the pack ruin this blissful night. He held Desidara close then allowed his heavy eyes to close. He was too much of a wreck last night to sleep so tonight he really needed his rest.

Chapter Three

Desidarias alarm started to blare music at six am making Trevor jump up in panic. She rubbed her eyes and laughed before shutting the alarm off. “I run every morning at six am now. It helped clear my head for work every day. Want to come or go back to sleep?”

“I dont have any clothes to change into. Why don’t you go run while I stay and cook. I can make you a nice meal deserving of such a beautiful and amazing woman. Afterwards we can go pick up your car.” Desidaria smiled then kissed Trevor. They lingered in the kiss then slowly parted lips. Desidaria stood and grabbed her running clothes before entering the bathroom. Trevor frowned, wishing she would have changed in front of him so he coudl admire her beautiful body. He understood though, he was yet to prove himself. When she came out he was waiting in front of her bathroom door. He hugged Desidaria tightly “I hope you’re very careful wherever you run. Don’t be too long please”

“Its only a fifteen minute run. I’ll be back very soon” Trevor walked with Desidaria until she was at the door. Once she was gone he walked into the kitchen. He planned on making her Orange Pecan french toast. He had been reluctant to taste it in his cooking classes but he was grateful that his teacher demanded it. They tasted amazing to him and he hoped Desidaria would feel the same.

Desidaria stretched her legs then started off down the sidewalk. She waved at Lawerence, an old man who came out to tend his garden every morning. He often gave her some of the vegetables he grew since he had so many and didn’t want them to go to waist. He was a sweet old guy and she had taken to calling him Papa Lawerence which made him smile. She ran down to the park and then stopped for a moment to catch her breath. She loved the little pond and the ducks swimming across with their babies. She felt eyes on her and turned this and that. She heard rustling in the trees on the edge of the pond and thought she caught a glimpse of a fluffy great tail. Her first thought was that it was a wolf and whether werewolf or regular wolf, she didn’t want to get cornered by the thing. She started back home, running at a much faster pace. She pushed quickly through her door and leaned her back against it once it was shut and locked.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Trevor asked.

“I think I saw a wolf…didn’t want to become lunch.”

“A wolf? Move.” She stepped aside and he unlocked the door then pulled it open. He stepped out and looked around, sniffing the air and listening closely. It had not followed her as far as he could tell. He worried that one of his pack had followed him.

“Don’t worry about it Trevor. It was probably a normal wolf and I spooked it. Let me shower then we can eat breakfast.”

He wanted to go hunt down the creature and assure himself that it was nothing but a normal wolf, but he didn’t want to leave her alone. He shut and locked the door then went back into the kitchen to make their plates. Desidaria hurried into her room, grabbing clean clothes and then heading into the bathroom. She stripped down and switched on the water, jumped in and quickly scrubbed the sweat from her body. She could tell Trevor had been really worried. She felt that even if it had been another werewolf, that his scent would have driven it away. There was a knock on the bathroom door which made her jump and before she could say anything he pushed it open, making her blush.

“Breakfast is ready when you are.”

“You do realize I’m naked in here right?”

“Sorry, habit. I’ll be at the table. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Desidaria got out and dried herself. Once she and the floor was dry she tugged her underwear and clothes on before brushing her hair. She walked out and saw Trevor sitting on the bed. He smiled at his mate then walked with her into the dining room. He stared as she went for her first bite “This is fantastic Trevor” He smiled brightly “I’m so glad, I was nervous for you to try it”

“You really do need to cook all our meals. Mine are horrible compared to yours.”

“as long as you keep me I will cook for you”

“Trying to give me another reason to stay with you?”

“Maybe” Trevor said with a wink. He got a little more serious “If you’re going to continue to run every morning I want to go with you. I love to run anyway and I can’t have anything hurting you”

“That would be fun, I’d love a partner”

“and a partner you have.” They finished eating then Trevor put his shirt and shoes on. They locked her apartment then went to grab her car and bring it home before going to speak with his pack. Trevor was sad when they arrived where they had lunch the previous day. He loved Desidaria clinging to him. She got off and he sat there until she was in the car and had it started. He waved, telling her to drive ahead of him. He didn’t like she saw a wolf on her run and wanted to make sure nothing harmed his mate. Desidaria giggled as she left the parking lot to head home. He was already back to his over protective self. The slightest danger always put him on edge. She was excited to have Trevor back. Most of her nervousness and worry he wasn’t absolutely serious was gone. It was morning, he hadn’t gotten any sex from her and yet he was unwavering in going to his pack and claiming her as his mate before them.

When they got back to her apartment she got out and he pulled up beside her. The way he took off his helmet was somhow sexy and she could tell by his eyes he knew it. “Did you do that on purpose”

“Of course” Desidaria giggled “are we taking my car or your bike?”

“My bike since we’ll be driving through the woods. This can handle the drive” She got her helmet and climbed on. Once her arms were wrapped tightly around his waist they were driving again. Desidaria hoped they wouldn’t give Trevor too much hassle over her. If they did she was confident he would stick to his guns and remain with her. She couldn’t be this naive twice. She would never be able to trust herself again if he cast her away a second time.

The house where the pack was staying was an old victorian home that Trevor had remodeled. Those sitting outside raised their heads in unison when they pulled up and got off the motorcycle. They pulled of their helmets and Trevor made sure he was standing between her and the rest of the wolves. “Trevor, what is the meaning of this?” A man that Desidaria thought was named Andre asked. She was pretty sure he was one of the two Betas.

“Gather the rest of the pack, I must speak with all of you.” Trevor was all business. It was amazing to her how easily he could change from fun and loving to serious. Andre glanced at her, but did as he was told. They waited in strained silence as the rest of the pack was ordered outside. Desidaria noticed that some of the female wolves were glaring at her, openly jealous of Trevor’s attention toward her. Once all the wolves were standing and sitting obediently before Trevor he cleared his throat and stared them all in the eye. “Most of you know this woman, her name is Desidaria Quinn. She writes articles for the paper. As most of you know, I made her leave after many complaints from this pack. Today I bring her before you as my mate.”

There was a lot of mumbling and Andre shot her an angry look. “She is not wolf born.” He said.

“I don’t care what she is or is not.” He laced his fingers through hers and brought her hand up to kiss her finger tips. “She is everything to me. It still stands that the pack comes first. As you know this means doing what is best for the pack and what I believe is best is having Desidaria by my side as my alpha female.”

“Why the sudden change of heart?”

“There was never a change of heart, just an understanding that without her I am a weak alpha. I am sure many of you have noticed my depression and also there have been many of you males challenging me. You must realize that this started not long after Desi left.” There was some more mumbling and many of the males and a few of the females nodded in agreement. “What do you say to Desi being my mate?” Those who agreed with him moved to stand with him. The only ones who did not were Andre, two females, and three other males.

“This is outrageous. She will weaken you, she will dilute your pure blood.” Andre growled.

“If you cannot accept her Andre then leave. Though it will pain me to see you go, I will not give her up. I plan on going to the elders and asking if there is a way to make her one of us.”

Andre and the others who were outraged at his decision scoffed at the idea. “That does not make her wolf born.”

“It does not matter what ones mate is as long as there is love between them. My close friend Noe has a mate who is a tiger.”

‘Then he’s just as dumb” Andre growled then stormed off. The other wolves that had stood with Andre followed. Trevor was glad a majority of his pack stayed. “I’m happy that so many of you could see reason.” He said to his pack and they nodded. They all looked at him, as if waiting for more but Trevor told them he was done and they could go back to whatever they had been doing. As his pack approached the house Trevor pulled Desidaria into a hug “see? do you believe with all your heart I love you now Desidaria or do I need to do somthing else? I’ll do whatever list of things, jump through any hoops to make you see I love you”

Desidaria attmepted to pull back enough to kiss Trevor but his embrace was much too tight for her to move enough for that. “I know that you love me. Thank you for actually standing up for me this time”

“I was a fool not to do it the first time, the biggest fool ever known to man or beast” Trevor met their lips and they just stood there. Desidaria could feel the jealous stares from the females again but she didn’t care. All they could do is look scornfully. She went to pull back so it wouldn’t be quite so rubbed in their face but Trevor wasn’t done yet and had no intention of ending the kiss this moment. Desidaria smiled against his lips then allowed him to slowly slide his tongue around with hers.

They got lost in the kiss until finally Trevor slowly moved back then held Desidarias face as he looked into her eyes. “I love you so much” He whispered and she smiled “I love you too. Lets go talk to the elders.” Trevor nodded but instead of moving began kissing Desidaria again making her laugh “Trevor” she said softly and slightly muffled due to his kiss. “I’ve mised your kisses so much”

“I know, I’ve missed your too. There will be plenty of time for kiss and making love after we talk to the elders”

He actually grumbled and she giggled. He pulled out his cell and called Elder Shane. He was the most laid back of them and Trevor knew that he could always count on the older man to support him. “Well hello Trevor.” Shane said when he answered the phone.

“Did you save me to your contacts or something?”

“Of course I did. You are always calling for guidance.”

“True. I need to speak with you and the others. It is important.”

“It must be Desidaria. How is she?”

“Stop knowing things, it gives you an unfair advantage.” Shane chuckled and agreed to gather the other elders at his house. They hung up and Trevor pulled Desidaria into a hug. “We have to go to Shane’s house. He sounds happy we’re back together.”

“I always liked Shane. He always treated you like you were his son.”

“He was always a good man. He didn’t meet me until I left the orphanage, but even when I rebelled he still cared. He gave me hell after I made you leave! called me all sorts of names. I thought he was going to kick my ass, but he didn’t.” They got back on his motorcycle and tugged their helmets on.

“I wasn’t aware there was a single soul who could kick your ass.” She teased.

“Shane could kick anyone’s ass. He’s one scary son of a bitch.” She laughed at the though of old Shane Hardy being scary to anyone. He was such a gentle old man who cared very much for all his wolf children. Desidaria always imagined him being one of those wolves that took care of the pups in a pack. Him being an elder was the only indication that he had been an alpha. Trevor drove quickly down the bumpy road, making Desidaria cling tightly to him. She smiled when she realized he was doing it on purpose because he wanted her as close as possible. She didn’t mind and held herself as close as she could.

They were both smiling and happy as they drove. Desidaria felt a little but of uneasiness take over when Trevor stopped at Shanes. If they said yes she wondered what it would take to change her and how painful it would be. Trevor hugged her “Don’t be nervous beautiful”

“That’s easy for you to say”

“No it isn’t, I really want them to change you. There’s a possibility they could say no”

“well, what happens happens.” Desidaria breathed out. Trevor took Desidarias hand as they moved to Shanes porch. He nor anybody else was there so Trevor knew he was still out getting the rest of the elders. It may take awhile depending on where the other elders were at the time. They say on the large swing and held eachother. After about a half hour of waiting Trevor moved Desidarias head so he could kiss her. His kiss was rough and hungry until they heard Shanes chuckle. Desidaria pushed Trevor away then ran to hug Shane. They embraced tightly “Trevor leaving you was the most fool headed thing I’ve ever seen done. I’m glad you took that asshole back” Desidaria giggled “I missed you”

“You could have still seen me you know. If that idiot leaves you again lets not lose touch” Desidaria nodded and it stabbed Trevors heart. She didn’t think he would leave again now that he had stood up to his pack but Trevor took it that was and frowned. He hated himself very much for leaving her and being so dumb. He sighed and shook it off. Now was not the time for that. He had to be his alpha self and convince all the elders to change the love of his life. Just as they entered two more cars pulled up. Shane smiled “The other four will be here soon.”

“Thanks for gathering them” Desidaria said to Shane “I was happy too. I’m elated you’re back” The two that pulled off were much more serious than Shane but after talking to Desidaria a bit lightened up and even laughed wich shocked Trevor who had never seen anything but a scowl on the two. He was glad the others were taking a bit longer. It agve Desidaria time to win atleast these two over so they would have three on their side when he asked them for help.

Half an hour later two more cars pulled up. Three wolves got out of one car and two our of the other. “Who’s the boy?” Trevor asked.

“That’s Grady’s protege Ewan. He’s the one who is going to take Grady’s place as an elder once he retires.” Shane explained.

“Do you have one?” Desidaria asked and Shane nodded. “Who?”

“He’s about six feet tall, dumb as a bag of rocks, and used to be extremely ill tempered. He’s also standing right next to you.” Desidaria looked up at Trevor who was staring at Shane is shock. “Don’t look at me like that boy. Of course it would be you, especially since you have Desi to keep you in line.” Desidaria’s lips twitched and she had to cover her mouth to keep Trevor from seeing her smile. The other elders and Ewan came inside and they all headed into the library.

“Please explain why you have asked us here today.” A woman named Hilda said. She had what Desidaria guessed was a German accent. The woman next to her who was named Agnes was her twin sister.

“Trevor, alpha of the local pack and my successor is here to speak to you about his chosen mate Desidaria Quinn.” Shane explained and gestured for both of them to step forward. They held hands and even though Trevor’s face was calm, she could feel him shaking a little.

“Speak child.” Agnes said softly.

“I wish to ask you to find a way to make Desidaria like us. I have already taken her to my pack and made my intentions clear as custom dictates. I lost a few, even my first Beta, but many have stayed and accepted her as one of the pack. She is more than an adequate mate and I believe she is what is best for my pack. Without her I am a terrible leader, with her I am stronger than ever. Please give us your blessing.” There was some chatter among them, Hilda and Agnes spoke in German, and Grady explained to Ewan what was going on. Desidaria could see that a couple of them where reacting negatively and she really wanted them all to accept her.

“I know I am just human.” She said and everyone grew silent. She had a feeling what she was doing was disrespectful in their eyes, but she couldn’t let Trevor be the only one to speak. She had an opinion too. “I know I am not like you and many of you see me as nothing more than a nuisance, but I will do whatever it takes to be with Trevor. I am not someone who usually begs for things, but if that’s what it takes then I will beg.”

They all stared at her and Desidaria felt Trevor get even more nervous. They all kept staring until Agnes cleared the silence “You’re brave, an Alpha needs a brave woman by his side. Her approval seemed to make the others feel more at ease about the situation. They seemed equally impressed she spoke at her Alphas side. “As for me there is no need to beg, what of the rest of you?” Agnes spoke again. The two Desidaria had been talking to in the kitchen quickly agreed. Grady paused awhile longer but nodded making his protege Ewan nod too. The other were a bit more procotious and seemed deep in thought until Hilda agreed. Once all were accepting and wanting to change Desidaria Trevor breathed and quit shaking.

Hilda spoke “Somthing like this hasn’t been done in hundreds of years but there is a way. Let us think and research dear children and we will see you back here tomorrow at lunch.”

“Thank you all so much”

“Yes thank you” Trevor added. A few smiled at them then Trevor guided Desidaria outside. They climbed on his bike and set off for his home so he wouldn’t be wearing the same clothes yet again. He hoped Desidaria didn’t mind him not asking but he had been so stressed that his head wasn’t clear until he was riding down the road with her. The second Desidaria realized they weren’t going back to her house she knew they were going to his. Even though he was a werewolf being dirty bothered him and he hadn’t been able to change atall since yesterday.

Desidaria wondered if his home was still the same on the inside as it was last year. She bet he threw away the decorations she loved but he hated and only tolerated their presense because she liked them. She especially knew her glass lion on the mantel would be gone. She had wanted it but couldn’t stomach going to his home to get it after he so carelessly threw her out. She could always buy the stuff again, she was sure he would tolerate the things she liked a second time.

Trevor could tell she was shocked he had left everything the same. All of her things had been far to precious to him to remove. He had forced himself to live wight he memory of her every day so he would remember what a fool he had been. Her eyes teared up and he pulled her into a tight hug. “Please don’t cry Desi.” He said softly as he stroked her hair.

“Everything is still here.” She replied as she started to sob.

“Why wouldn’t it be? You made this house a home.” She pulled back to look around. The lion was gone. “It’s in my room.” He said as if reading her mind. “I let a couple of pups stay here while their parents were on a week long hike. They nearly knocked it off so I put it upstairs. Teenagers.” He brushed a few tears off of her face and kissed her trembling lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her so she wrapped her legs around his waist. “Am I allowed to make love to you now?”

She smiled against his lips and lifted his shirt off. He carried her upstairs and tipped her back onto his bed. His lips moved against hers hungrily as he grabbed her shirt and ripped it open. She giggled and said, “Someone is impatient.”

“Of course I am, I’ve missed you.”

“I don’t have any clothes here.” He kissed his way to her breasts, tearing off her bra and sucking greedily. She tangled her fingers in his hair arching into his mouth with a moan.

“Good, then you can walk around naked.” He took the rest of their clothes off then thrust into her, burying himself as deep as he could. She held herself tightly to him as he pumped into her hard and fast. She felt wetness on her shoulder and tugged his head back to kiss him when she realized he was crying. Their loud cries filled the room as they found their release together and they clung to each other like children in a storm.

Chapter Four

“I love you so much Trevor, so so much. You are everything to me.”

Trevor still had tears tracing his face “I love you too Desi, so much. I’ve missed you so badly.”

“I can see that, now I feel worse about the party. I just..I really felt like you didn’t love me.”

“I have no one to blame but myself for that. I don’t deserve this chance but I’m so grateful Desi. I need you so much” They both cuddled up in his bed. “what’re we going to do about clothes? I’ll need some tomorrow”

“You left clothes here. You were gone in such a hurry you didn’t take much. That dresser by the window still has all of your clothes you left.”

“Then what was that talk of me walking around naked?”

“a man can dream cant him?” Desidaria giggled making his tears cease. “sorry about that, I was overwhelmed by the emotion of finally having you back. I’m just so happy.”

“It’s ok, it’s sweet you’ve cried so much since my return. I hate for you to be sad but it really shows what I mean to you since I never saw you cry until now.”

“Alphas aren’t supposed to cry”

“That’s silly”

“Silly, but a fact. I can’t help it though. I was so miserable without you. I wish you knew that I will never leave you again. Even if you try to leave me I’m not sure if I could let you”

“I do know that Trevor.”

“It didn’t seem like it when you were talking to Shane”

“I know how much you love me Trevor. Don’t be silly” Trevor smiled weakly then kissed Desidaria again. This kiss was soft and slow. He just wanted to enjoy the feeling of laying with Desidaria and feeling the lip contact he had craved so badly. Many women had tried to be with him but he couldn’t be with anyone but her. Desi was his one and only mate. He just wished he didn’t have to send her away to find that out. Desi attempted to get up but he held her down and whimpered. “Aw, I just need to use the bathroom sweetheart”

“Hurry please” He said with his best puppy face. It made it hard to leave but she kissed his head then got up running. He smiled as he watched how her butt moved. He loved to watch her run naked. He was dissapointed when she walked back “Stop pouting pervert” He smiled wider “I love when you jiggle”

“Be careful, thats awefully close to calling me fat”

“You are far from fat sexy. Your body is perfect with just the right amount of jiggle” Desidaria crawled back into bed and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. “what are we going to do with the rest of our day?” She asked. “Why dont we do this. Theres only an hour and a half until dinner. Want me to move a TV and Roku box in here? We can watch Netflix if it’ll make you stay with me” Desidaria kissed Trevors chest “We can just enjoy eachother for now but I’ve gotten used to having a tv”

“I’ll move it after dinner my love”

“Thank you”

“anything to keep you happy” Desidaria was near sleep when her stomach grumbled about an hour later “early dinner it is then” Trevor said softly into her ear giving Desidaria goosebumps. He chuckled “what do you want?”

“Pizza”

“Do you have a preference?”

“No just order whatever.” Trevor called dominos and ordered a three meat pizza with anchovies and a bottle of Pepsi. When he hung up Desidaria said, “I guess at least we’ll both have stinky fish breath.”

“Anchovies are delicious. Besides if we both taste like anchovies then we’ll be able to kiss without grossing each other out.”

“So considerate.” She said sarcastically.

“I know, I’m the best.” He tugged her into his arms and kissed her. He pressed her back into the bed, running his hands over her.

“How long until the pizza gets here?”

“Don’t know, can’t remember.”

“Liar.”

“So.” Her skin grew hot and she moaned as he pushed his hand between her legs. He bit at her skin, leaving his teeth marks all over her. He kissed her as she orgasmed, catching her breathy cry. There was a knock on the front door and he pulled back with a grin then slipped his fingers slowly in his mouth, sucking off her juices and making her turn cherry red. She covered her face and he kissed her cheek before getting up and grabbing a pair of sweats and some money out of his wallet.

“Pervert.” She yelled and he laughed all the way down the stairs. She didn’t think she would be able to face the pizza guy so she just lay there with her face covered.

“Come down and eat beautiful.” He hollered up the stairs and she grabbed one of his t-shirts and pulled it on. It was really big on her. Her stomach growled and she hurried down stairs. He frowned when he saw she was dressed.

“If I don’t wear this then I’ll never get to eat.” She said and he moved his head side to side as if contemplating her words.

“You could always eat while we…” She covered his mouth with her hand and she could tell by his eyes that he was smiling.

“Shhhh stop being such a perv and let me eat without thinking of doing that.”

“Alright, alright, I will do my best to keep the conversation non sexual. Remember that I am a man and a wolf at that.”

“That’s no excuse.” She grabbed a piece of pizza and took a big bite, getting sauce on the corner of her mouth. He leaned forward and licked it off, making her inhale sharply.

“We are very sexual creatures love.”

“Control yourself”

“But I did so much of that at the party and yesterday. I’ve been yearning for you for a year.” Desidaria sighed and Trevor said “sorry, I will go ahead and move the TV so you have adequate time to eat”

“That will take you maybe ten minuets”

“I’ll be slow” Trevor ate a piece of pizza then stood. He gave Desidaria two long kisses on the cheek before leaving the room. He easily lifted the television and carried it upstairs where he moved on of the dressers and set the TV down on top of it. He then walked, even though he wanted to run downstairs to grab the Roku. Once that was hooked up and he made sure all was working he went back into the kitchen hoping his beautiful and very irresistible mate was done with her meal. His eyes grew wide as he saw here laying on his table covered in pizza sauce.

She smiled “However will we get all of this off?” He almost tackled her as he got on top of the table too. His tongue moved over every line and spot of sauce. Desidaria moaned and got goosebumps due to how sensually his tongue slid across her. When there was no more sauce Trevor kissed Desidaria slowly then pulled back saying in a soft voice “I love you” Desidaria smiled “I love you too” Trevor gave Desidaria another kiss on the lips then moved to kiss her ear and whisper “I’m not done licking you yet my goddess” His hot breath was almost enough for her to let out another moan.

He got off the table then pulled her down it. Trevor spread Desidarias legs and almost attacked her he started licking her so hungrily. Desi moaned and writhed as her moans became heavier. It seemed the wetter she got the hungrier Trevor became. She was nearly limp by the time he lifted her off the table and slammed his throbbing, needy manhood into her tight crevice. It brought life back to her and made her moan louder than she was before. She started to quiver around his spear so it milked him to the last drop of his seed.

He was panting too and moved Desidaria so that he could cradle her. He took her to their bedroom and laid her down under the covers. He then turned on the TV and gave her the control so she could pick somthing to watch. She was tired from him but still managed to go to a series she had started watchign called Damages. “want me to start the series over for you?”

“Would you mind?”

“Not atall my handsome wolf” Trevor smiled then kissed her. “I forgot how good you taste between your thighs” Desidaria was blushing again making Trevor chuckle. Desi pushed play on the first episode then they cuddled. He could tell Desidaria was near unconciousnes so he asked “what episode are you on?”

“Episode two of season two” She said softly “ok, I want to keep watching when you sleep but I dont want to get further than you. I want to enjoy it all the same time as you” Desi smiled then let her heavy eyelids close. He stayed up a few more hours watching and still didn’t manage to catch up but he didn’t really expect to since she was that far. He turned everything off then let her intoxicating scent wash over him a lul his body to rest. When the sun rose Desi woke first since she had fallen asleep much sooner than he did. She kissed his chest which instantly woke him from slumber. He had always been a light sleeper.

“Want breakfast?”

“Yes please?”

“What do you want?”

“What you made me for breakfast yesterday” He smiled “get showered and dressed and I’ll go cook. I don’t know what you’ll ahve to go through today so I dont want to wear you out with more sex”

“But I like being worn out that way” Trevor chuckled “Be good sweetheart, weren’t you just saying that yesterday?”

“Just as you forgot how good I taste I forgot how amazing you are” Trevor got up before he gave in to temptaion and went down to the kitchen. Desidaria grabbed some of her old clothes then went into his bathroom. Everything was the same so she didn’t have any trouble finding a towel and washcloth. She showered quickly wanting to be with Trevor again and got dressed. The pleasant smell of breakfast hit her nose as she ran down the stairs. Trevor had a huge grin across his face when he heard her coming and hoped she’d cover his eyes.

Much to his delight she did and asked him “Guess who?”

“Hmm is it my goddaughter Claire?” He asked.

“You have a goddaughter?”

“Yes ma’am, but I guess it wouldn’t be her because she’s only one. It must be my wonderful, sexy mate Desidaria.”

“I don’t know…are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” He pulled her hands down and turned to kiss her. She smiled against his lips then he went back to cooking. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back. He started humming, the sound vibrating through her and making her happy. He made their plates and she let him go so he could put them on the table. They ate and chatted and occasionally he would feed her a piece because he liked the way she pulled it off his fork.

“At this rate you’ll make me fat.” She said as she finished her last bite.

“With all the running you do I don’t think I could and on top of that I plan on making love to you every day, so that’s even more cardio.”

“After all the time I’ve known you, the blunt way you talk about sex still makes me blush.”

“I like it, it’s sexy.”

“It’s not fair. Is there nothing that can embarrass you or make you blush or anything?”

He shrugged and she rolled her eyes as she cleared the table and washed their plates. He wrapped his around her from behind and nibbled at her neck. She blushed and he kissed her cheek. “I’ll try to think of something, but as far as I can remember I have never been shy. Even being nude around the pack doesn’t bother me.”

“You’ve been naked around those women?” He started laughing.

“Don’t be jealous, it’s just nudity. It’s not like it turned me on or anything. The other men have been naked too. Sometimes we forget to get dressed after we shift shape. You’ll probably forget too and I’m sure Noe, Vivian, and Benjy have forgotten.”

“so you wouldn’t care if the men of your pack saw me naked?”

“Why, they can’t touch you. You’re my mate and they knew I’ll rip their throat out without another thought if they touched you. When I’m naked the women all know I have zero desire for them.”

“I guess”

“You sound upset”

“I’m not, I promise. It just rubbed me wrong at first”

“Well let me rub you the right way” He said as he swept her off her feet and went back to their room. “I thought you weren’t going to make love to me this morning”

“Don’t you have a dirty mind, I am going to give you a massage before I get showered and dressed.” Desidaria giggled as he flipped her on the bed and onto her stomach. He got over her and began to rub out all the knots she had. Once she was loose he gave her a kiss and nibble on each shoulder then went into the bathroom. Desidaria turned on the TV to watch Deadly Women since she knew Netflix had the seasons. She was glad they had so many ID shows on Netflix so that she could watch episodes she missed on TV. They had plenty of reruns but she stayed so busy that still didn’t guarantee she could see them all without the help of Netflix.

When Trevor came out he threw his towel to the floor adn walked over to the closet. Once he was dressed he grabbed Desidaria, draggin her to the headboard so he coudl lean against it and hold her. She giggled again lighting up his heart. “Perfect choice in show Desidaria. This will help me not make love to you.”

“I would like to say that’s the idea but I’m sort of addicted to crime shows.”

“I can see that” Before they knew it it was lunch time so they both got up and walked out of the house. They put on their helmets and set off to meet the elders. Trevor went from comfortable and happy to nervous and anxious. He hit every bump again to make Desidaria cling. He loved the feeling of being squeezed by her. He hoped she wouldn’t drive her car again until they had children so that he would always have her close when they went places. When they arrived at Shanes the rest of the pack was already there and waiting in the yard. When the bike stopped the elders walked inside as they took their helmets off and followed.

“This is going to take a lot of energy so your whole pack as well as we elders will be supplying it.” Shane explained. “As far as we know, the transition should only be mildly painful. We have been going over the ritual with your pack to make sure we get it done the first time around.”

“What exactly do we have to do?” Trevor asked.

“We are going to make a big circle while you and Desidaria sit in the center. The ritual calls for the blood of an elder which I will be providing. Symbols have to be painted on you with my blood which Agnes has volunteered to do.”

“Does that mean I’ll have to be naked?” Desidaria asked, her voice sounding high pitched.

“Yes, I’m sorry, but clothes will smear the symbols. This is not a sexual thing and it’s the reason I asked you to come at noon. The symbols take time to apply. The full moon is tonight and we will be using it to make you what the books call moon born.”

“I guess I can handle a little nudity.”

Both Shane and Trevor laughed as they went into Shane’s houses she found herself wishing she could glare at them both at once. Agnes was waiting in one of the guest rooms with a small bowl, a sharp knife, and a roll of gauze. Shane smiled and unbuttoned the sleeve of his shirt and rolled it up. He held it over the bowl and Agnes slashed his wrist, making Desidaria flinch. Shane allowed himself to bleed until there was enough in the bowl then Agnse quickly bandaged his wrist. “Will you still be able to participate Shane?” Agnes asked.

“Of course, don’t worry about this old hound.”

“May I speak to you while Agnes does what she needs to do?” Trevor asked.

“Of course. Desi, I’ll have him come back as soon as we’re done talking.”

“Thanks Shane.” Trevor and Shane exited the room and the latter turned to look at the former.

“What’s got you worried boy?”

“Desi said she saw a wolf while out running, but I smelled nothing following her. She said she only saw it for a moment.”

“There have been no new wolves coming into town other than your friend and his son, but I doubt it was them. Could be a spirit following her around. These things often happen to those who have a wild heart. This wolf has probably been with her since she was a child, but she just didn’t notice until she thought about becoming like us. Humans often block out the spiritual aspect of things. She’ll probably see it again tonight and it might be the spirit that wishes to inhabit her body and soul to make her like us. Do not try and stop it no matter what it does. Just hold onto Desi and keep her calm.”

“alright, as long as I know she will be ok” Shane put a hand on Trevors shoulder “Your mate will be fine and healthy enough to start making pups for you” Shane winked.Trevor smiled and they both walked back in. Agnes was still working on the first symbol. Trevor wished Desidaria was more comfortable being naked but he was happy she only seemed a little uncomfortable. He sat down in front of her and grasped her hand lovingly. Desidarias eyes met his and they stared deeply into eachother until Agnes needed Trevor to move to put symbols on her front. Desidaria looked a little more uncomfortable but stayed still and silent. Desidaria mainly wished all the elders eyes weren’t on her but she knew as Trevors mate she had to get used to all eyes being on her anyway so this was a good way to start.

After being naked around everyone it would be a cinch with clothing covering her body. She was really glad she was a runner so her nude form was nothing to be embarrassed of. She had a few bruised bite marks from Trevor but she would be proud of those among the female wolves of the pack. It would enforce the fact that Trevor was hers and they couldn’t have him. Desidaria was also grateful she had a high tolerance for pain since this would become painful once things got started. She would do her best to show as little pain as possible and hopefully earn more respect from the pack. She knew they had to respect her as Trevors mate but she really wanted them to respect her because they honestly respected her.

There were much more symbols to draw on her front so this took a few hours. Once they were drawn Agnes just had to do one on each side. Agnes smiled “you were very good and still. You show nothing but good qualities as an Alpha” Desidaria smiled “Thank you” Agnes smiled warmly back “the pack should be here very soon for it will be dusk before long. Are you ready Desidaria?”

“Of course”

“You can’t get scared”

“I won’t”

Trevor held her hand as they walked out into the cool night. She was instantly covered in goosebumps and shivered. She didn’t want to smear the symbols and have to start all over again. They stepped into the circle and Trevor sat down then pulled her to sit between his legs with her back to him. She could feels everyone watching her and did her best not to notice. The circle of wolves joined hands and turned their faces to the moon, letting out a long loud howl.

“That howl means please come here.” Trevor whispered in her ear. They let out another howl then turned their eyes to the center. The entire circle started chanting and the symbols covering her body grew warm. The circle suddenly fell silent and a loud howl filled the night. Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of silvery fur. “It’s okay, just stay calm.” Trevor kissed the back of her head. The wolf that stepped out of the shadows and into the circle was not actually silver, but a light grey. The way the moon light bounced off of its fur made it seem like it was glowing. The symbols on her skin grew hotter the closer it got until she was forcing herself not to squirm due to the discomfort. The wolf just stared at her, eyes the same color as her own seemingly peering into her soul. It seemed like it was searching for something. It leaned down and licked her fingers and she swallowed nervously. “She wants you to touch her.” Trevor lifted her hand and placed it gently on the wolf’s head.

Desidaria moved her hand slowly from the wolf’s head to her neck. It moved even closer and touched its nose to her forehead. Her eyes drifted closed and she felt a searing heat move throughout her entire body. She suddenly felt like she was being crushed and found herself unable to draw in a single breath. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she was finally able to suck air into her lungs. The heat subsided then disappeared and when she opened her eyes the wolf was gone. Bright moon light shown down on her and she swore she could feel it dancing over her skin, cooling it. It gave her a thrill and her heart raced. The circle let out a bunch of excited howls and yips, startling her and she found herself clinging tightly to Trevor.

“It’s okay love, they are welcoming you as one of their own.” He kissed her cheek and she turned her head to meet their lips.

“You are now moon born child.” Shane said and she broke the kiss. “May your every day as one of us be blessed.”

Trevor picked Desidaria up “Lets get your clothes back on and get you home where you can cleanm up and relax. We shall have a celebration with the pack tomorrow. You hear that” He looked at his pack and they nodded. Desidaria was happy they all seemed excited to have her as one of them. Trevor carried her inside and she pulled her clothes back on. Once she was dressed Trevor carried her outside “even if you feel fine I want you to sit infront of me and lean back. I can’t have you falling off my bike.” Desidaria smiled “alright. She sat down then Trevor got behind her. She leaned back, wanting to kiss him but couldn’t through the helmet. The ride back made Desidaria realize how much he tried to make it bumpy since the ride was so smooth returning to his home. Once they were back at Trevors house he carried Desidaria inside and to the bathroom. “Lets clean you up beautiful, do you still feel good?”

“Don’t fuss”

“I can’t help it, I love you so much”

“I love you too. Undress me please” Trevor slowly pulled off everything covering her body then got the water running. They stepped inside then Trevor grabbed some body wash and began scrubbing her with the occasional kiss. Once she was clean Trevor washed himself as quickly as possible then they got out. Trevor wanted to every bead of water from Desidarias body but refrained, this wasn’t the time for that. He knew even if she couldn’t feel it that she needed rest after that. He was shocked she only cried at the ceremony. When they were dry Trevor carried Desidaria to the bed and snuggled close. He then realized how hungry she must be since they didn’t eat before the ceremony. “You ahve to be starving” He said after issing her forehead “I am”

“Grilled cheese?”

“Please” He kissed her lips “I’ll be as fast as possible. Watch somthing so you don’t fall asleep on me.”

“Ok, I’ve been meaning to watch Dead Write anyways. Not that I will get to finish but I can start it.”

“I’ll watch it with you until you fall asleep”

“You’re wonderful”

“I wish I was as wonderful as you deserve”

“Don’t be crazy and go make me grilled cheese”

“Yes mam” He smiled happily then ran off as she turned the TV on. She found the movie and pressed play. She wasn’t that far into it when Trevor came back up and she explained what all was going on up until the point he came in. It wasn’t long after her sandwhiches dissapeared that Desidaria was sound asleep. Trevor set the plates on the floor then pulled his mate into his arms. Trevor couldn’t wait to celebrate with his pack tomorrow. This was the biggest event in his life. He finallyhad his mate back and she was truly one of them. No matter what happened Trevor would never let anything or anybody rip him apart from his soul mate again.

~ The End ~

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