Gavin left the university, feeling happy after another good day of school. He walked around the back where Kota always waited for him and slowed down when he saw him talking to another man. The guy was about his age and handsome, they seemed so happy as they chatted and Gavin couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. Kota was always so friendly, he smiled all the time, putting people at ease. They said that the more you smiled, the easier it was for you to make friends, not something he himself was good at since he was still as shy as ever. He straightened his back and started walking again, calling out for Kota who looked away from the man he was talking too and smiled lovingly at him.
“Hey, how was your day?” Kota asked as he kissed Gavin, making him blush.
“It was good.” He looked at his feet. “Who’s this?”
“Oh, this is Jacobi, Jacobi this is my boyfriend Gavin.”
“Nice to meet you.” Jacobi said and held out his hand.
Gavin took it, shaking it. “You too.”
Kota chuckled and draped his arm over Gavin’s shoulders. “It was good seeing you again, but I have to get this guy home before he spontaneously combusts.”
“Alright, see you later then.”
Kota kissed Gavin’s temple. “I missed you today.” He said as he let him go and they got into his car.
“Me too, s…so how do you know that guy?”
“He’s my ex.”
Gavin’s heart slammed against his chest and he swallowed nervously. “Oh, he seems nice.”
“He is.” Every worse case scenario he could think of began to run through Gavin’s head. He and Kota had been together a little over a year, had moved in together, and now he worried if Kota was having second thoughts. After all, he had to deal with someone so shy that he nearly blushed himself into a fever every time they kissed. “You alright?” Kota asked.
“Yeah, I was just thinking maybe we should go somewhere this weekend. I mean, if you have the time.”
“I like that idea, we could just get away for a couple of days. How about camping?”
“Okay” Kota smiled and took his hand “I’m crazy about you, you know that right?” Gavin wished he was secure enough to believe Kota would always be “yeah”
“good” Kota finished driving them home then said “I bet you’re hungry. I’ll make us grilled cheese”
“I can do it”
“You undoubtedly have studies to attend to. I’ll make them” Kota kissed Gavin again then walked into the kitchen while Gavin took his place at their table. He sighed, it wasn’t fair or right to be doubting Kotas commitment. He was an amazing boyfriend and would probably be hurt that his boyfriend felt so insecure. Hopefully Jacobi wouldn’t hang around and Gavin could just forget about his existence. It wasn’t long before Kota interrupted his reading “food handsome, no more books”
“May I have a kiss?”
Gavin blushed. “Sure.”
Kota smiled lovingly at him then pressed his lips against Gavin’s. “I love you.” He said upon parting their lips.
“I love you too.”
Kota brought their plates over and sat down next to Gavin. “So, do you have classes tomorrow?” He asked then took a bite of his food.
“Just a couple in the morning since it’s Friday.”
“Good, then I’ll pack and buy everything we need while you’re gone and we can just leave when I pick you up.”
“Sounds good.” Gavin took a bite of his sandwich, thinking about Jacobi again as he chewed. The guy was good looking and by what Kota had said, he was nice. He wondered why they had broken up. “So how was your day?” He asked, knowing Kota would talk about his discussion with his ex.
“Pretty good, work was great, met this nice old couple today who needed directions. I might be switching jobs though.”
“Jacobi’s going to get me a job at this graphic design place.”
Gavin froze, his sandwich hanging in the air. He sat it down, turning to Kota with a big smile. “That’s great, you’re dream job.”
“Yeah, I’m really excited.”
“You deserve it, I’m proud of you.” Kota kissed him again then they went back to eating. It wasn’t until Gavin had finished his sandwich that he realized that meant Kota and Jacobi would be working together.
That realization hit him like a ton of bricks and he wasn’t even sure how to breath any longer. Kota noticed him go a bit pale “Honey? You okay?” he asked in concern and came over to him, scooping Gavin up and taking him to the couch “yeah..I just dont feel very good” Kota kissed his head again “no fever but let me lay you down okay? I’ll just cuddle you and we’ll watch TV”
“okay” Gavin was a storm of emotions but the dominate one was fear. Jacobi was handsome, probably easy to be intimate with and was now going to be working with his boyfriend. Jacobi was so much better than he was and he wasn’t sure he could even blame his boyfriend for throwing away what they had to be with him. Kota laid Gavin in the bed then settled in with him, pulling him close in a protective fashion.
Gavin had not realized he had fallen asleep until he suddenly snapped awake, startling Kota who was focused on the TV. “You okay?” Kota asked as he ran his hand up and down Gavin’s back.
“We can cancel the trip and go another time.”
“No.” He said louder than he intended and felt his heart slam against his chest. “Please, I want us to go.”
“Gavin, tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m fine, really and I’ll be good to go camping tomorrow, I promise.”
Kota tipped his head back, letting his thumb slide across his chin before kissing him. He found himself getting lost in the sweetness of Gavin’s lips and deepened the kiss, forcing him to open his mouth so his tongue could explore. His hands slid beneath his shirt, ran over his skin so goosebumps covered him and he gave a little shiver. Gavin’s skin heated and when he didn’t stop him, Kota pushed his hand into his pants. He reflexively grabbed his wrist and Kota stopped. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
Gavin felt frustrated at himself and buried his face in Kota’s shirt. “I wish I wasn’t so shy and nervous.”
Kota smiled and pulled back to look at him. “I told you it’s fine, I’m just happy being here with you.” He kissed his forehead. “I’m going to go take a shower to calm down.”
“Stop apologizing baby.” Kota got out of bed and Gavin flopped onto his back, feeling more and more inadequate. How long would Kota be willing to deal with him.
Kota took a deep inhale and exhale once the water started flowing down his body, tracing his every muscle and dip. He wanted Gavin indescribably but he didn’t want him to feel bad that he wasn’t ready. He wanted sex but he didn’t need it and could wait as long as he had to for Gavin to be ready. He had never been happier in his life and them not having sex didn’t change it in the slightest. If anything if just showed Kota how great they were together. He was happier than he had ever been and Gavin was the first boyfriend not to give it up on the first try. Kota stayed under the warm spray until he had completely softened and could keep all sexual thoughts about Gavin out of his head.
When Kota came out he could tell right away Gavin was still upset “Gavin”
“yeah” he tried to force his voice to sound happy. “be happy for me, please. I love you so much”
“sorry, cuddle with me again?”
“I’d like nothing more” in Gavins head he said “thanks for the lie but I know thats not true…please just dont leave me for Jacobi”
They fell asleep not too long after, Kota holding tightly to Gavin and Gavin having a horrible dream about Kota leaving. He jerked away with a gasp and felt tears on his face. His heart was beating so fast and so loudly he feared the noise would wake Kota. He took a deep breath, calming himself down. He hated himself for thinking such horrible things about Kota, but Jacobi seemed so perfect. He turned slowly over and Kota mumbled something incoherent before pulling Gavin tightly against him. He forced himself back into sleep, wanting to be rested for his morning classes.
Kota woke before Gavin’s alarm went off so he switched it off and turned back to his adorable boyfriend. He frowned at the look of worry Gavin wore on his face even in his sleep. He hated he beat himself up about being shy. Kota didn’t know how else to tell him that he loved his shyness, that he found it endearing. He sighed and pressed him lips against Gavin’s, startling him awake. “Kota? Morning already?”
“This seemed like a better way to wake you.” He stroked Gavin’s cheek. “I really love you, so much so that I think I’m falling for you all over again.” Gavin blushed and Kota chuckled. “I guess we should get ready for the day. Breakfast burritos sound good?”
Kota kissed him. “Get in the shower then and I’ll start breakfast.”
“Okay” Kota couldn’t resist one more kiss “I’m crazy about you Gavin”
“I’m crazy about you too” he forced through his shyness. He didn’t want to clam up anymore when Kota was being romantic, he wanted to be normal. They both got out of bed and went their respective ways. Kota walked downstairs hoping that his words were sinking into Gavin in the shower and he’d come out feeling better. He wasn’t normally this worried about things between them so as he cooked it got him wondering if anything was different or if he had done somthing without thinking and gave Gavin a reason to worry. He wanted to try asking again but he wasn’t sure Gavin would talk about it since he had already tried asking.
Gavin came down just as Kota was finishing with the sausage and sat down at the kitchen table with a little sigh. “You alright?” Kota asked as he switched off the burner and popped the microwave open to grab a tortilla.
“You seem down.” He spooned eggs and sausage onto the tortilla then grated some cheese on top and rolled it closed.
“Just tired I guess.” Kota put the burrito on a plate and sat it in front of Gavin, taking the opportunity to bend down and kiss him.
“You sure that’s all?”
“Yeah, thank you for breakfast.”
He patted Gavin’s head then went back into the kitchen to make his own burrito. He took his place next to Gavin once his plate was made and they ate in silence. When they were finished, Kota washed their plates then went up to their room and got dressed while Gavin collected his books. “You ready?” Kota asked when he came back down.
“I get out at ten.”
“I’ll be there ready to go camping.” Kota made sure to lock up as they left and took Gavin to school, feeling worried as he dropped him off. He sighed as he drove to the store to buy what they needed, calling Jacobi as soon as he was out of the car.
“What’s up?” Jacobi asked and Kota thought he heard the sound of mouse clicking.
“Did I catch you at work?”
“Yeah, but you know I’m the multitasking king.” The clicking stopped. “You sound down, did something happen?”
“Gavin’s been acting strange lately. He seems upset and I am at a loss as to what to do.”
“When did he start acting weird?”
“Hmm, sounds like he’s feeling a little jealous and inadequate and doesn’t know how to tell you.”
“Why, I tell him I love him all the time.”
He heard a chair squeak. “How’s your sex life?”
Kota rubbed the back of his neck as he walked slowly into the store and grabbed a basket. “Well, it’s nonexistent which is fine, I don’t need sex to be happy. I just want him.”
“For being so smart, you really are dense sometimes. Could you imagine walking up on your boyfriend and his ex talking and not think the worst. I could tell he was super shy when I met him and now he’s feeling inadequate because he hasn’t done the one thing he thinks you need. He doesn’t see that you and I are just friends, he sees me as someone who’s come to steal you away.”
“Then I’ll explain.”
“Not until you resolve the intimacy issue, I’m just a bump in the road, but the whole sex thing is obviously a mountain in his eyes. Deal with that then deal with his other fears. Take him out or something, create a nice calm atmosphere.”
“We’re going camping.”
“Good, you’ll be alone, away from any distractions. Turn off your phone and just be with each other.”
“I will, thank you so much man. Now I feel like a moron”
“somtimes it just takes somebody on the outside of somthing to figure things like that out. I feel kind of bad honestly. I know it’s not my fault either but I don’t want to come between you and him”
“I’ll make things right on the camping trip” They said their byes then hungup so Kota could shop and Jacobi could get back to work. Kota sighed, feeling relief but still feeling bad that Gavin was so tortured by seeing him talking to Jacobi. Even making it worse by casually mentioning he would be working with him. He hadn’t meant to be a jerk but he felt like a huge one. He was determined to make this trip special and get Gavin to make love to him.
He checked out when he had all he needed then headed home to pack their over night bag. He checked and double checked as he packed to make sure he had not forgotten anything then zipped the small suitcase closed and took it down to the car. He pulled the cooler out of the laundry room and placed the bag of ice he had bought inside. He wouldn’t dump it out until they were at their camp ground and had opened their food. He put the food, drinks, and seasonings on top then closed the cooler and packed that down. The last things he grabbed were blankets and pillows. He checked the time, seeing he still had plenty of time before he had to pick Gavin up from school.
Gavin sighed at his inability to pay attention in either class and wound up asking one of the other students if he could borrow their notes and return them after the weekend. They trusted him since he was such a good student and handed them over fairly quickly. He tried to lighten up as he walked down the hall and stepped out into the sun. He was sure his off mood wasn’t helping his relationship with Kota any so when he saw him waiting in the parking lot, he gave him his best smile. “Right on time as usual.” He said and Kota pulled him into a hug.
“How was your morning?” Kota asked and pulled back too look him in the eye.
“It’s still morning.”
Kota leaned down and kissed him, making his face burn. “Well then how was your morning so far?”
“You’re in a happy mood.”
“Of course I am, I get to spend the weekend with you camping instead of working.”
Those words felt good to hear and an effortless smile filled his face “I’m excited about it too” Kota gave Gavin an endearing smile then pulled him over to his side of the car and opened the door for him. Gavin sat down in his seat and Kota ran to his side of the car and slid in. “you really are excited about this” Gavin said as Kota started the car. Once the road was stretching before them Kota took Gavins hand “you have no idea”
Gavin swallowed “so, what does Jacobi think of our trip?”
“why should that matter?”
“he hopes we have fun and this trip is about us. Lets not think of anybody else. You and I are all that matters Gavin” Though it embarrassed him Gavin took his hand from Kota then moved so he could lay his head on Kotas shoulder and wrapped his arms around him.
Kota smiled and kissed the top of his head before giving his focus totally to the road. He wanted to get to their destination safely so he could spend the whole weekend making up for his ignorance. He was grateful that Jacobi had pointed out his stupidity and would think of a way to thank him after his and Gavin’s weekend together. He was happy when they made it to the campground and he put a deposit down for the weekend then chose a campsite in the very back so they would be away from everyone else. “This is nice.” Gavin said when they got out.
Kota inhaled deeply of the fresh air. “Yeah, it’s perfect. Want to help me set up the tent?”
Kota popped the trunk and pulled the tent out then dumped it out of its bag. They put the poles together and then set the tent up. It was big enough that Gavin could stand straight up and still have room, but Kota actually had to bend down since he stood over six feet. “Sometimes being tall is a curse.”
“I don’t think so, you can reach the things I can’t.”
Kota smiled. “You know your grandma told me you look super cute when you stand next to me.”
Gavin blushed. “I probably look like a child.”
“I can guarantee there is nothing childish about you.”
“Shut up.” Kota chuckled at his bright red face and gave him a kiss before pulling him out of the tent. He handed Gavin blankets and pillows which he in turn set up in the tent while Kota took the seasonings out of the chest and poured the ice out on the food and drinks. “So what now?” Gavin asked.
“Want to go on a walk? We can go down to the river.”
Kota took Gavins hand as they began walking at a slow, leisurely pace. “you don’t remember how nice the air is when you’re surrounded by trees until you are again” Kota pointed out and Gavin agreed. The crisp air felt good in both their lungs as they listened to nature and enjoyed the small contact of lacing their hands. As another wave of guilt rushed through Kota he held his hand just a little tighter. “do you know how happy it made me when I convinced you to move in with me?” Kota said softly, holding his head at a slight tilt upwards to look at the sky. “you did seem pretty pleased”
“It meant you’d be there every morning when I woke, every night to keep close. Just knowing youll be there during those times every day brings me so much peace and happiness” Gavin blushed and looked down at the road. Kota turned his head to look at him, feeling his heat “please look at me” he coaxed softly. Kota wanted Gavin to see in his face what he meant to him. Gavin slowly looked up and over at his boyfriend, his heart stopping when their eyes met.
“I love you Gavin, more than anything else. You are my heart and soul.”
Gavin’s heart was going a million miles an hour now and his entire body felt hot. He finally had to look away before he burst into flames. “I love you too.”
Kota wrapped an arm around Gavin’s shoulders and kissed his temple. They made their way down to the river and Kota stopped to take his shoes and socks off then roll up his jeans. Gavin followed suit and they both sat down on a flat stone and dangled their feet into the water. “Man I love being outside.”
“Well, maybe we should come out a couple of times during the month.”
“I’d like that.” He stretched his arms above his head. “I want to go swimming.”
“Let’s go back up to the tent then.”
“Nah, lets just get in.” He tugged his shirt off and then his jeans, making Gavin blush.
“But…um…I mean what if someone comes down.”
Kota shrugged. “So.” He dropped down into the water with a smile. “Come on or I’ll just splash you so you’re soaked and have no choice.”
“Fine, I guess.” Gavin got to his feet and nervously pulled his shirt and jeans off. The water was a lot deeper than he expected and Kota laughed as he grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up. “Don’t laugh.”
“Sorry, you just looked so cute.” He pulled him into some shallower water and let him go. Gavin retained possession of his hand, making him smile.
“this is where being tall is the advantage” Gavin said and Kota answered with a smile “yeah, I’ll give you that. Gave me a reason to hold you a few moments” Gavin blushed again but Kota didn’t back off like he normally did. The only way to get Gavin over this was to push it. Kota took Gavins other hand and pulled their bodies together before wrapping his arms around Gavin so he couldn’t push away. Gavin heated up even more, especially when Kota began kissing him. It was a closed mouth kiss but with how little they were wearing and being skin to skin it made him blush as if they were making out. Kota considered this which was why it was closed mouth. He wanted to push Gavin, not overwhelm him.
Gavin could feel Kota was getting excited and forced himself not to try and pull away. Instead he slid his hands up Kota’s chest and wrapped his arms around his neck. He started shaking and Kota pulled back. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” His voice was a whisper and his cheeks were tinted red in his embarrassment.
Kota pressed their lips back together, letting his hands drift down Gavin’s back so goosebumps rose on his skin. “You feel really good. You can touch me too.”
“Why not, you did before.”
“You were asleep, well at least for the most part.”
Kota grinned. “I could always take a nap.”
Gavin’s heart did a little flip. “You’d just fake again.”
“How about this, we’ll keep it above the waist.” Gavin looked unsure. “I really want you to touch me.”
Nervously Gavin let his hands feel Kotas amazing body. His own shaft was starting to grow hard after a few minutes which surprised him since most the time he was too nervous for it to come up. Kota had attempted to hold back the smile but his lips didn’t listen to him. Gavin pushed away, just as Kota knew he would “baby, it just made me happy. I’m not laughing at you.” Gavin was breathing heavily so Kota tried to come nearer which cause Gavin to back up “baby”
“I’m getting so excited”
“then lets go back to the tent”
“I’m not sure if I can yet”
“Please Gavin, I’ll be gentle.” Gavin just stared back and Kota weighed what he should do. Keep pushing or lay off and give him a break.
“I just…I don’t know.” Kota moved closer and grabbed Gavin’s wrist, effectively making it so he couldn’t run away.
“Tell me why you’re so nervous.”
Gavin looked down at the water. “I’m just scared of disappointing you and worried I won’t like it and then we’ll be right back to where we are. You might start to resent me and then…and then you’d leave.”
“Gavin, look at me.” Gavin slowly raised his head and swallowed the lump in his throat. “I’m not going anywhere baby, I will never, ever leave you.” He pulled Gavin into him, feeling how hot he still was even in the coolness of the water. “I love you and there is no way you could disappoint me.” He leaned down, brushing his nose over Gavin’s. “Let me have you.”
“No more talk about Jocobi.” He pressed his lips into Gavin’s, his teeth tugging at his bottom lip so he opened his mouth to allow his tongue entrance. His hands rested flat against Kota’s chest, feeling how fast his heart was beating. He moaned and Kota pulled back, smiling at Gavin’s red face and the dazed look in his eyes. “Let’s go back to the tent.”
“Be honest, will it hurt?”
“Not if we do it right and slow. So can I?”
“Really, you’re sure?”
“Yeah, I trust you and love you.”
They both picked up their clothes, only putting on their shirts before walking back to their tent. Gavin couldn’t look at Kota the entire way. His mind was consumed with what he had just committed to doing. When they got there they set down their clothing and crawled in the tent. Kota was quick to zip it up so just incase someone happened by for some reason they wouldn’t get a show. “Gavin, you look terrified. You trust me right?”
“I do, I’m sorry. I can’t help it” Kota cupped Gavins cheek and kissed him, slow and sensuous. Kota gently started pushing Gavin down so he could straddle him as they kissed. After a few moments he tugged Gavins shirt off and his own. Deciding it might be easier if he went first Kota pulled down his underwear, exposing his beginning erection. Gavins jaw slightly dropped as his eyes seemed glued to what rested between his thighs.
Kota leaned down, a satisfied smile on his face as he pressed his lips into Gavin’s, his tongue dipping into the sweetness of his mouth. “Touch me.” He whispered against his lips and Gavin let his hands move tentatively over Kota’s chest and down to his abdomen. He stroked his fingers slowly over his shaft and Kota moaned.
“Yeah, very.” He tangled his fingers in Gavin’s hair and pulled his head back so he could kiss down his neck. He moved lower, his teeth nipping at his skin and his tongue lapping so Gavin quivered beneath him. He hooked his fingers in his underwear and pulled them down and off, making Gavin feel embarrassed as he sprung loose from their confines. He looked away, his face bright red. “You have nothing to be ashamed of baby, you’re incredibly sexy.”
“I’m so wimpy, I can’t even measure up to…” Kota licked his tongue over the tip of his shaft, making him let out a whimpering moan.
“I love you the way you are.” He gave him another lick before pulling him into his mouth and Gavin gripped onto the blankets as his entire body shook.
At first Gavin was embarrassed at how deep his moans were getting but soon it was so amazing he didn’t even think of it. Kota sucked and licked on his shaft while lightly running his fingers on Gavins balls to increase the pleasure of it until his lover released in his mouth in an eruptive burst. Now his whole body would be more sensitive and relaxed for Kota entering him. “trust me okay Gavin” Kota said huskily “Okay baby” Kota put Gavins legs on his shoulders then began using his thumb to work and loosen Gavin a bit. When he was confident he wouldn’t hurt him Kota rummaged through the bag and pulled out his lubricant. Gavin blushed when he saw it, Kota had been planning this.
Kota thrust in and Gavin let out a whimper of pleasure. Kota moved slowly then leaned over to kiss Gavin. “I love you” he whispered, hoping desperately this was amazing to Gavin and he’d no longer be hungup about these things. Kota struggled to keep himself at a slow pace but he managed for Gavin until he burst inside Gavin like a firehose. He pulled out and rested his head against Gavin “Please tell me you like that”
“It felt incredible” Kota smiled and moved to hold Gavin “I’m so glad”
“you planned this baby?’
“yeah, you’ve been so insecure about this and us because of this. I just decided to finally nudge you into it instead of always backing off. I need you Gavin and I don’t just need you with me but I need you happy” Gavin clung to Kota “I love you too. Thank you for being so patient and gentle”
“I could never be anything else with you” he said softly. They laid there wrapped in eachother until sleep overcame them. They had reached a new point in their relationship and neither could be happier.
~ The End ~