Milos drove his motorcycle into town with a heavy heart. It had been at least thirteen years since the human he dated destroyed his heart but he was still scared to see him again. Huxly had been the first man he ever loved and Milos guessed he should have known something was up since Huxly would never be in public with him and kept their relationship a secret from his parents but he had been foolish, young and very much in love so he didn’t let himself see Huxly was ashamed. He could still remember the day he ran back into the deep woods and never looked back on the human town. The pain was still so fresh it may as well have been yesterday. It almost pissed Milos off that he still loved Huxly but he had never been able to stop. The day they broke up it had been because Milos kissed him on the cheek in front of his friends.
He hadn’t meant too, he had known Huxly preferred not to show affection in public but they had been together so long at that point it was something he did without thinking. Huxly shoved him away screaming “what the hell” and his friends began laughing “what a fucking freak”
“did he really just try and pull that?”
“oh my god he’s one of those disgusting faggots” the comments went on and on and Huxly didn’t say a thing after shoving him and yelling at him. Milos had shakily gotten up but one of Huxly’s friends shoved him back down “stay down you disgusting faggot. I can’t believe you pulled that with Huxly. Hux, do you want us to hold him down so you can teach him a lesson, show him what happens to faggots around here” Milos had cried then and was starting to cry now at the memory. He couldn’t keep recalling it, not when he was returning to that town. He had to just push it out of his head and get what needed to be done here. He was here for his sister and if he had any luck Huxly had moved somewhere else.
Milos pulled over to check the address his sister had given him again. She had moved out of her apartment some time ago and he wanted to make sure he was on the right street. He would hate to knock on some stranger’s door. He lifted his helmet off and pulled the letter out of his pocket, checking the envelope and then the street he was on. “Milos?” He froze and slowly looked back around at the man stepping out of one of the buildings.
“Oh, hey.” He said. He couldn’t remember the guys name, only that he had been there when he’d made a fool of himself.
“Right, it’s been awhile.”
“Yeah, you back in town?”
He felt awkward talking nice to this guy. “Yeah, for my sister. Anyway, I’m busy, so…”
“Yeah, uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “so…can I apologize for…”
“I have to go, my sister’s probably worried.”
“Sure, alright then. Huxly’s…”
“Really need to go, glad to see you’re doing good.” He tucked the letter back in his pocket and pulled his helmet on.
“See you around then.”
He wasn’t normally short and rude with people but he didn’t want to hear his apologies and he especially didn’t want to hear anything about Huxly. It had been a long time and truly Huxly should have stood up for him that day, Huxly shouldn’t have shoved him away and acted like that so really it was more of his ex’s fault than Bradleys as a simple on looker but this was his first time back in this place and he just wasn’t ready to make nice. As he continued to ride he felt worse and worse about not being able to be more mature and forgiving since Bradly had been trying to apologize for the past. He decided that next time he saw him, if there was a next time he’d open his heart and listen.
Huxly lowered the barbell back into place and sat up, removing his earbuds then switching off his ipod and stretching his arms. He looked up as the door opened and waved at Bradley who wasn’t even looking at him. In fact he looked distracted. “Brad, hey!”
“Huh?” Bradley looked up at him. “Oh, hey.”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Bradley shook his head. “I may as well have.” He headed for the locker room and Huxly followed, a little concerned. “I saw someone today I didn’t think I’d ever see again.”
“It doesn’t matter, man.”
Bradley sighed. “It’s not like you won’t find out anyway, it’s not like I’ll be the only one to see him. You should just leave it alone.” He glanced at Huxly who had his arms crossed over his chest and an impatient look on his face. “Fuck, fine, it’s Milos.”
“Milos?” Huxly almost stuttered out his name. “yeah and what’s even crazier is he doesn’t look older at all. Seriously it’s like we never saw him again because he stepped out of that day and walked into this one.”
“what did he say?” his heart was suddenly going a million miles an hour. Excitement, worry and most of all guilt filled his mind and soul. In all these years he had never secretly dated another man, he couldn’t. Not only because he felt so guilty but because he was still deeply in love with him. He knew Milos would never believe it now, why should he? It was true all the same though. He was simply a coward, still was to this day. He had never told a single soul the truth, the reason Milos had kissed him, the fact there wasn’t an ounce of him that was straight in the slightest. Women didn’t do a thing to arouse him, not even fully nude and trying their best. He was attracted to men and more over, he knew he’d probably never get over Milos.
“He really didn’t feel like talking to me but we were a bunch of horses asses back then so I’m not surprised”
“Did he say where he was going?”
“To see his sister. That’s really all I got. He really didn’t want to hear about you.”
Bradley cleared his throat. “I’m going to get changed and then get in a quick workout.”
“Yeah, sure, sorry for bothering you.”
Milos wasn’t surprised to see his sister standing on her front porch when he pulled up and she headed down to him as he got parked and pulled his helmet off. “You are so late.” She said.
“Sorry, I had to stop and check to make sure I was going in the right direction.” He got off his bike and hugged. “It’s good to see you.”
“I was worried.” She pinched him.
“I said I was sorry. I also ran into Bradley.”
“He’s surprisingly grown up. Shocking, I know.”
“Yeah…he tried to apologize and this time it was me who was childish”
“hey, what they did to you was fucked up, it took you a long time to stop crying about it. I mean, this is the first time I’ve even gotten you to come back in town which is ridiculous. Let anybody call you a faggot or something else derogatory around me, they’ll be seeing their dentist soon after. You should never be afraid to come here and you shouldn’t blame yourself for having a hard time accepting his apology” Milos smiled, always thinking his sister was adorable when she got worked up. “You’re a good sister Enid. I’m hungry, are you? If I’m going to be in this town again I’d like to go back to my favorite place to eat”
“Back and already trying to fatten me up. We’re taking my car though, not that thing.”
“I’m in a dress.”
“Alright.” He wheeled his motorcycle up into the driveway then leaned against his sister’s car to wait for her. “That only took you an hour.” He teased when she finally came out.
“I couldn’t find my shades.”
“Oh sure, probably looking at yourself in the mirror. You got a boyfriend I don’t know about?”
“No, you’d be the first to know if I did. What about you?”
He shook his head. “Not interested.”
“You can’t let what happened with Huxly make you single forever Milos” Milos didn’t say anything as he got in the car, not really knowing what to say. His sister was right but how was he supposed to move on when his head couldn’t convince his heart to stop loving Huxly. When they arrived at the place they frequented over thirteen years ago they were delighted to see their favorite table open for the taking. They sat down quickly, even already knowing what they’d order. “Milos! Hey” the perky waitress said. He remembered her right away and was surprised she still worked here. “Hey”
“Dear god I want your families genes, look at you two” Milos chuckled “Yeah, we got lucky”
“do you know what you want?” she asked so they ordered. When she was gone his sister said “you’re not off the hook”
“you can’t stay single for eternity, you remember we’re immortal right?”
“don’t say that so loud Enid”
“we’re in a human town” she shrugged “I don’t really care”
“You don’t understand.”
“You mean that you’re still in love with that self loathing shit head? I get it, but it’s not your fault he’s gay, it’s not even his fault he’s gay, that’s just the way it is.” She crossed her arms. “He should be here on hands and knees begging for your forgiveness, but he’s probably at the stupid gym working out his stupid muscles. Self centered little bas…” Milos covered her mouth.
“Calm down.” He said with a chuckle. “You might explode.”
She pushed his hand away. “He’s lucky I didn’t rip him apart for what he did. He should have just dumped his friends then and there, but no he went along with it. Creep.”
Milos sighed. “I know, but that doesn’t change how I feel. My heart it just…it belongs to him. I mean how pathetic do you have to be? I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I saw him again.”
“Make him work so hard he’s begging just to kiss you?”
“Enid, be good. Stop being so devious.”
“I can’t help it, you’re my baby brother and he hurt you” Milos chuckled “I really should have seen the signs he was ashamed”
“ashamed or not he should have stuck up for you. There’s no excuse I’ll hear for it.”
“On a happier note what are you doing with your life lately?”
“I have a new job, I got bored of my last one”
“not surprising, what’re you doing here now?”
“I work at a childrens museum”
“Yeah I like it”
“mom and dad are going to ask me if you plan on returning home any year soon”
“Nah, humans are so interesting, I love being in their towns”
“You should at least visit.”
“I’ll think about it.” Their food and drinks came and they thanked the waitress before digging in. “So, what are you going to do if he does find out and comes to see you?”
Milos swallowed his food. “I don’t know, panic, take a swing at him, run away again. Probably forgive him because I’m an idiot.”
“Well, if he tries anything tell me and I’ll beat him up for you.”
“I’m an adult Enid, I think I can handle myself.”
All Huxly could think about as he walked home was Milos and the last time he had seen him. He had never seen him make a face like that before, like he had ripped his heart out. He remembered the tears, how Milos had run away and disappeared. He didn’t blame him for never coming back, Huxly had helped destroy the life he had built there. He let out a sigh. He wanted to see him, but he knew he didn’t have the right to.
After they ate Enid asked “want to ride by where I work so you know where it is?”
“sure sis” they got back in her car and went to her work since it wasn’t far away then went back to her place. “My home is your home baby brother so help yourself while you’re here” she showed him where everything was then suggested ‘I know it was a long trip so I wont be hurt if you go to bed”
“I’m up for a show or movie if you’d like. We don’t see eachother much anymore”
“I just started watching Bobs Burgers if you’d like to watch that”
“what’s it about?”
“this family that owns a restaurant. It’s pretty funny and there’s this girl named Louise that I absolutely adore”
“alright, lets watch then”
Huxly stared at his phone, at the number he hadn’t deleted. He wanted to message him, but he didn’t know if Milos had changed his number. He sighed. He needed to do this, even if Milos told him off afterwards. He tapped the message button and sent a text. “Hey, it’s me, I heard you were in town and I wanted to know if you would meet me somewhere.” He couldn’t take it back now and he laid back on his bed as he waited.
Milos jumped when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He forgot he had brought it with him. Enid had kept paying the bill, wanting him to be able to call if he visited the human world. He pulled it out and his eyes widened at Huxly’s name. “You alright?” Enid asked.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m good.”
“Are you sure? You’re making a face, like a shocked I don’t know what to do face.”
“I’m fine, just watch your doppleganger.”
“Yeah, Louise, she’s you but smaller.”
Enid smiled brightly “I’ll take that as a compliment, she’s awesome” He couldn’t believe Huxly had already texted him, he hadn’t been in town a full twenty four hours yet. The hopeful side of him made him wonder if he was sorry about what happened, if Huxly wanted to make it up to him. He was glad his sister wasn’t judging him for still loving Huxly. She was in protective mode but she seemed to understand that you can’t really control your heart and Huxly really was an amazing boyfriend beyond what happened that day. Was he ready to jump into a relationship again with a man who let his friends push him around and was probably still ashamed? No, but he had missed him and meeting somewhere to talk about things was something he was scared of but he wanted.
“where would you like to meet and when?” Milos texted back. He kept the phone in his hand, hoping Huxly was as quick to respond as he used to be when they were together. Huxly had been pacing with his phone in his hand so he read it the moment it arrived. Emotion tugged at his heart that Milos actually seemed willing. It made him feel worse about what happened. Milos was such a genuinely good guy and he had allowed his friends to be so mean to him.
“My place? In the morning? It’s really up to you, Here’s my address” he typed out where he lived then sent his next message. He knew asking for the morning was probably a bit much but he was so eager to finally talk to him again. It had been so many years since the last time they saw each other. Milos wasn’t surprised he chose his house “still going to be hiding eh?” he thought to himself but decided not to get upset about it. He wanted to see Huxly and he just had to hope he had the strength once in front of him again to not let himself be some dirty little secret.
Milos sent back, “I’ll be there.” Then put his phone away. He knew if he kept talking he might get upset and he was supposed to be spending time with his sister. He also didn’t want her going and trying to kick Huxly’s ass.
Huxly’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Milos’s response and he resisted the urge to send anything back. He didn’t want to annoy or anger him. He put his phone on its charger then decided to give his place a good once over. He wasn’t an overly messy person, but he was sure he had left some dishes in the sink or clothes on the bathroom floor. It only took him about an hour and then he was left trying to fall asleep.
Milos tossed and turned that night, his thoughts constantly drifting to Huxly. He tried to think of what he was going to say and how he was going to act. He didn’t have the same temperament as Enid and had only snapped at Bradley because he was trying to avoid anything to with the past or Huxly, but he knew he had to show some force of will so he wouldn’t end up back where he had been. He was absolutely enamored with Huxly, but he had to set up conditions if they were going to get anywhere.
In the morning Milos nervously told his sister where he was going to be heading after breakfast. She sighed then got up from the table to hug him “I love you baby brother, so much. Please, know how amazing you are when you go over there. You deserve someone who is proud of you.” she let go and stood up straight “I can’t say I’m happy you’re going to see him but I understand. Please though, please demand to be treated better than last time if things become more than friends between you.”
“I will, I’ve resolved to make sure he knows I wont be anybodies dirty little secret again”
“good, I don’t know if I can keep from breaking his neck if he hurts you like that again.”
“You know you’d have to come home if you did that”
“exactly, don’t make me lose my place here baby brother because I love you and I will kill for you” Milos smiled at her and she sat back down to finish her food. He helped his sister clean up then texted Huxly to let him know he was on his way. Huxly was still struggling to figure out what to even wear today so he wasn’t going to have time to eat breakfast but he wasn’t sure he even could. His stomach was in knots with worry over how this would go. Huxly knew he was a selfish prick but he wanted Milos back in his life desperately, even as a friend.
Milos’s heart felt like it was going to explode when he finally pulled into Huxly’s driveway. He could feel himself shaking and had to take a couple of deep breaths before switching off the engine to his bike and pulling his helmet off. He could do this, it wasn’t hard. Just don’t back down, put his foot down, maybe channel a bit of his sister if he had to. He sat his helmet on his seat and tried to walk as confidently as possible up to the front door. He took another deep breath and raised his hand, knocking a little too loudly. When Huxly opened the door his stomach did a little somersault and he swallowed down the nervousness. “Um…” He said as they stared at each other. Why did he have to be so good looking.
“Come in, if you want to I mean.” Huxly replied, giving him a tentative smile.
“Sure.” Huxly stepped back and Milos stepped over the threshold. The door closed behind him and he told himself there was no going back now.
“Can I take your jacket?”
“Oh, yeah, thanks.” He slipped it off and handed it to Huxly who stuck it in the closet near the front door. “So, wow, you really haven’t aged.”
“Bradley told you.”
“Yeah, we got to the same gym.” He cleared his throat. “Would you like to sit? I can get you something to drink if you like. I have water, milk, and juice.”
“Milk sounds good” Milos sat and Huxly walked out and into his kitchen. Milos glanced around the living room, at the pictures mostly. He seemed to be friends with only one or two boys he used to hangout with and he didn’t seem to be with anybody but nobody had known he was with him all those years ago and there certainly weren’t any pictures that would indicate that were together so that didn’t mean much. For all Milos knew he could have some other guy as a secret boyfriend. Huxly returned with two glasses of milk and handed one to Milos. “thank you for coming…I don’t know why you came but I’m really glad to finally have an opportunity to apologize…I tried calling after what happened”
“I turned the phone off”
“yeah…I kept getting voicemail..Milos…I’m honestly and truly sorry…I still get angry at myself for shoving you away…for not sticking up for you and for most of all,still to this day not telling anybody we were together and that I was the one in the wrong…you were my boyfriend…you had every right to kiss me”
“I wasn’t a boyfriend…I was a secret”
“you were my boyfriend. I loved you so much…I still love you Milos” Milos stood, finding courage in his hurt and anger “when you love someone you don’t let people treat them like that”
“I know, I was a stupid teenager.”
“do you still hide the fact that you aren’t straight?”
“yes” Milos scoffed as he stood “so what are you wanting from this because I need to know. I deserve better than to be some secret you’re ashamed of. I wont do it again. I love you too. I always will but you inviting me to your home tells me I’m still something you want to hide”
“I would have met you anywhere. I left it up to you at first”
“But when I put it back to you you suggested here”
“I don’t think well when I’m nervous, you know that. If you want to be seen with me hang on” he ran to his room and grabbed his phone. Milos was confused as he set it it on the mantel and returned to him. He began talking to the phone, they were live on Facebook but Milos wouldn’t have understood what he was talking about even if he explained “I’m not friends with most the assholes I was in high school but I just wanted to let everyone know of something really shitty I did in high school. This man right here, for those who don’t know is Milos Shana and I dated him” Huxlys heart hurt it was beating so hard in fear. He still didn’t want to come out but Milos did deserve better so he would do this for him. “I dated him over a year in high school but I was too ashamed to tell anybody, not because he isn’t wonderful and gorgeous but because I was ashamed of being gay. I let my friends bully him when he accidentally kissed me in front of them, I didn’t stick up for him and I’ve hated myself for so long because of it. I’m gay and I love this man. I’m sorry Milos”
Huxly was now facing him as he said again “I’m so sorry”
Milos looked at the phone and then back at Huxly. “Can…can people see us?”
The shock set in as he realized Huxly had just outed himself. “Why would you do that?”
“Because you deserve it.” He reached over and took Milos’s hands in his. “Can you forgive me for what I did?”
Milos felt a lump forming in his throat and his eyes filled with tears. He wasn’t supposed to get emotional, but he couldn’t stop it. He hadn’t expected Huxly to care enough to do something like this. He couldn’t speak so he just nodded and Huxly pulled him into a tight hug. Milos started crying and hated himself for clinging so tightly to Huxly. He even tried pulling away, but Huxly held onto him. “Huxly, you should…everyone’s…”
“I love you.”
“I’m not.” He released him long enough to grab his phone. “I hope you all heard that, I love him.” He shakily ended the feed, too afraid to read any comments it had received. He then went back to Milos, gently wiping away the tears on his cheeks. “I’m not lying. I love you so much.”
“I can’t believe you did that…I never expected”
“teenagers are dumb and I know even that’s no good excuse for what happend but I do love you, I’ll always love you and I’ll take you to every establishment in town and kiss you in front of everyone if that’s what you want. I’ll go to every guy that picked on you that day and beat the crap out of him then get someone to kick the crap out of me if that’s what you want. I don’t deserve you in my life Milos but I’ve missed you so much. I’d do anything for you to even be my friend again but if you’d ever take me back as your boyfriend I promise to never fail you again. I wont let embarasment be more important than you. Everyone I know knows I like men now. I don’t know if you use Facebook but if you’d like I can show you that people saw”
“I’m not sure what Facebook is” They sat down on the couch with his phone and Huxly showed him. Huxly was surprised that his fears had been unfounded, at least with everyone but the kids he hung out with back in school. It made him feel even more foolish for being afraid back then. Anybody who mattered didn’t give a crap if he liked men and were proud of him for righting what happened back then. “How do you feel now Milos” Huxly asked and Milos wiped at his face “I feel like I should have came back sooner…I’ve missed you”
“does that mean we’re friends” Milos nodded and now it was Huxlys turn to cry.
Milos did his best to comfort Huxly by hugging him and rubbing his back. He really didn’t know what else to do, he didn’t think things were going to play out like this and he was still a little surprised they had. “Sorry.” Huxly said when he managed to get himself under control. “I’m just so relieved.”
“It’s alright, you kind of got a lot off your chest today. Coming out can be a little overwhelming.”
“That’s only half of it, I’m just happy you didn’t tell me off.”
“I thought about it, but that’s more Enid’s thing.”
Huxly chuckled. “She’s a bit of a hot head.” He ran his fingers through his hair, sweeping it back away from his face. “So, want to go out or something?”
“Out? Like a date?”
“Just out. I’ll take you anywhere. How about ice cream or slushies or something?”
“Are you sure your muscles would agree?”
“How about milkshakes, it’s like a slushy made out of ice cream.”
“want to ride on my motorcycle?’
“I heard you had one as you pulled up. I’d love to if you don’t mind” They walked out and Milos handed him a spare helmet “it’s requirement for getting on my bike” Huxly took it and put it on then they both got on Milos’s bike. Huxly loved motorcycles but most the reason he was happy to be riding with Milos was the fact he’d get to hold him. Milos drove to his favorite place to eat since they also had milkshakes “Is this fine?” he asked when he parked his bike “yeah, I’m just happy you’re willing to go anywhere with me” They put the helmets away then Huxly said “your motorcycle is really nice”
“How long have you been riding it?”
“Not really sure, years now” the lady came up “what would you two like?” They ordered their milkshakes then went back to talking. It felt a bit awkward but time still flew by. Before either man knew it they had been there three hours so they left their waitress a really good tip for being so patient with them. They had discussed a park they went to a few times at night when they were dating so they decided to go there next. As they talked there Milos started thinking about the fact he was an elf. Huxly had manned up and apologized for past behavior but he felt to a certain degree he needed to apologize for hiding something like that from Huxly.
In his family he had always been taught you don’t keep secrets from people you love so he said “hey Huxly”
“can we get somewhere alone so I can tell you something”
“we have to be alone?” Huxly asked nervously, still waiting to be chewed out by Milos “yeah, it’s not bad but you manned up so it’s time for me to do the same”
“O…okay” They walked over to a more secluded place in the park and Milos said “I’m going to tell you something that sounds made up but I just feel I should be honest with you”
“what is it?”
“I’m immortal, I have good genes which is why I look so young but it’s not in the way you humans are thinking. I’m an elf” Huxly was left speechless but Milos could tell his mind was just processing being told something like that. “why didn’t you say that when we were kids”
“I guess in my own way I had something I was embarrassed to share too”
“I actually heard a rumor you and your sister were elves”
“well Enid tells everyone she’s close to so I’m not surprised”
“wow…so….you’re never going to grow old”
“Nope but if you’re worried, if we did start dating again I could just make you immortal too”
“Thats a thing?”
“well…If I married you we’d be bonded…it’s a lot to explain but it would stop you from ageing because we’d basically be one”
“you…I cant believe you trust me enough to tell me all this”
“You just outed yourself for me”
“That doesn’t mean you had to tell me, but I’m glad you did. You shouldn’t be embarrassed though, I mean you still look just as hot back then.”
Milos playfully punched his shoulder. “Oh I see, it’s all about my looks.”
“It’s more than that.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, so can I maybe kiss you?”
“Not because we’re alone, we can go back out there if you want. You don’t have to kiss me either, it’s fine if that’s too much. I mean I can’t expect you to just jump back in.” He gave a nervous laugh. “Sorry.”
This side of Huxly really surprised Milos. He had been pretty confident when they were dating, but now he acted like he was walking through a minefield. It touched Milos that he was even asking so he stepped closer and pressed his lips against Huxly’s surprising him. He was happy when his reaction wasn’t to push him away, but to stand there looking confused. It caused Milos to laugh and Huxly to blush. “Sorry, it’s just your face.”
“Y…you caught me off guard.”
“I’m sorry, are you happy though?”
“Beyond happy, thank you for kissing me…can I ask what this means…are we together or just friends or would you rather not put a name to what we are just yet”
“I’ve missed you a lot and after what you did…outing yourself to everyone for me and the time I’ve spent with you today we’re together. I love you and even if I said just friends I don’t think I could be just your friend Huxly. I love you and I want you to kiss me any time you want” Huxly’s heart stuttered but he wouldn’t let himself cry this time. He just pulled Milos in, wanting to give him a real kiss, one he was ready for. He hadn’t kissed anybody since all those years ago but he was hoping to take Milos’s breath away. Soon they were thinking of nothing else but each other as their lips moved against one anothers. Everything had felt terrible for so long but standing there in Huxlys arms with their lips together and tongues mingling everything felt right in the world. Milos truly felt happy he finally chose to come back and that he opened his heart enough to allow Huxly to talk to him. If he would have closed himself off with anger they wouldn’t be healing like this and they wouldn’t have such an amazing future ahead of them.
~ The End